How Verizon Is Killing Their Own Business
Posted: December 31, 2012 Filed under: Culture | Tags: culture, entertainment, pop culture, popular culture, television 1 CommentSo I finally saw the finale of “The Voice” the other day, and I’d like to start by saying congratulations to Cassadee Pope. I picked her as an early favorite to win, although she wasn’t necessarily my favorite. I liked Terry McDermott, although he had an off night in the finale, and Nicholas David was also very good. Amanda Brown also caught my attention with “Dream On” and “Here I Go Again“, and I personally thought she went home too soon.
So why did it take me almost two weeks to get around to watching the finally? Well, that would be because I watch it On Demand. Specifically because I watch it with Verizon On Demand. I wanted to be very clear about this, because I don’t know for sure that all the vitriol I am about to unleash is applicable to every cable and satellite provider, although past experience with other systems would lead me to believe it is. Still, I want to be as fair as possible.
Once upon a time, I loved On Demand. It was just like watching TV, only without the commercials. I could also pause, rewind, fast forward, anything I wanted. Sure, I was paying a small fortune for access to these features, but I was willing to pay it, because what I was getting made it worthwhile. It was like having a DVR that I didn’t have to set up (although we have one of those too, I just don’t use it).
Then something went wrong. First it was little things. The pause button started timing out on programs. Annoying, but hey, it happens with DVDs sometimes. But then we couldn’t just restart where we left off, we would have to restart from the beginning. And then suddenly we can’t use features like fast forward. Uh-oh, this is ominous. Before you can say “screw the customer”, we’re getting commercials in our On Demand programming.
Oh, and the price of our cable bill keeps going up. But that’s kind of like death and taxes.
So this extra service that we’re paying for (a little more every month, it seems) is getting less valuable every month. Now, some of you might say, “why not just use the DVR? You said you have one, right?” Well, here’s how they screw us on that one, too. You need a separate box for every room, and we’re already paying extra just to have a basic cable box in our bedroom, which is where my wife and I watch TV. So we have to pay extra to watch TV when we want, and we have to pay extra to watch it where we want, AND we have to pay extra to watch without commercials, which we thought we were doing in the first place.
Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that TV isn’t free. All entertainment comes at a price, and that entertainment needs to be paid for. Broadcast TV (which traditionally came free to people’s home via, well, broadcast) was paid for by advertising. But cable (and it’s bastard stepchild, satellite) is not paid for exclusively through advertising. In fact, I’d like to know exactly what percentage of it is paid for each year in advertising revenue, because I know I’m paying a hefty sum just to get access to the most basic channels. (I’ll gladly pay the extra for HBO and Showtime, thanks.)
I’d like to say that they get away with this because they have a monopoly, and there is some truth to that. But there’s a deeper truth to it: they get away with it because I put up with it. I keep coming back for the “higher” internet speeds (read “please don’t choke my downloads”), I keep coming back for the “On Demand television” (none of the convenience, all of the commercials), I keep coming back for the crappy service and the “customer service line” whose responses are less “how can I help you” and more “sounds like your problem”.
I used to buy entire seasons of shows on DVD and watch them that way. Sure, it put me way behind everyone else in the office, running from water coolers with my ears covered screaming “NO SPOILERS! NO SPOILERS!” for months at a time, but it’s getting to that point again anyway. At least back then I didn’t have to watch commercials in the meantime. I’d consider switching to watching TV on the internet, but they’re usually a season behind AND have commercials, plus I still have Verizon internet. So if anyone has a better idea I’m all ears.
Until then, don’t tell me who won Season 4 of “The Voice” until at least a month after it’s over.
Crowdsourcing My Angst
Posted: December 28, 2012 Filed under: Culture, Internet | Tags: crowdsourcing, culture, internet, Kickstarter 1 CommentI have a problem with crowdsourcing sites like Kickstarter.
Crowdsourcing has not only turned funding for artistic endeavors on its head, it’s removed one very important part of the equation: the people taking a big part of the risk don’t get to share in the rewards. Oh, I understand that the reward is that they get to see a product or piece of art they otherwise might not have (and please don’t say they definitely wouldn’t have; at least half the stuff on Kickstarter these days is things that existed before that site did in one form or another), but they also paid for it. In many cases they overpaid for it, especially compared to the old model.
Consider: I’ve personally kicked in on a couple games and considered kicking in on a few books. The rewards are pretty standard for these things. Below a certain threshold you get a thank-you somewhere, usually on the front page (maybe the welcome screen), although maybe it’s on the back page. Once you get up to the effective retail value of the product, you get a “free” copy. Imagine that. Sometimes around the $15 mark they throw in a t-shirt, which gets rolled in as you hit the next mark that exceeds “current prize retail value + $15”. After a certain point the costs get exceptionally high and the rewards get extremely intangible, such as “lunch with the creators”, but I’m actually okay with those; you can’t really put a price on something like that beyond “whatever the market will bear”, so let ’em get what they can. But here’s one thing they don’t offer: a piece of the action.
Here’s the thing that writers, artists, and lots of other creative types don’t seem to understand. It’s not just that publishers are putting forward the printing presses, the marketing machine, and all the other work they do on your behalf to get your work sold that you think you don’t need them for anymore, and hey, maybe you don’t. The other reason they get a cut of the profits is because of the advance – they loaned you the money you already spent so you could keep body and soul together, and it wasn’t the kind of loan you get from a friend and “I’ll pay you back whenever”. This was a business loan, and it accumulates interest. The interest gets paid in profits, and if there are no profits, you lucked out because they are willing to eat the loss – this time (although they probably won’t take your calls next time).
I understand that at least for Kickstarter there are rules against allowing people to buy into the company, and if I understand the situation correctly this has to do largely with government regulations (no, I am not just trying to sneak in my favorite hobby horse, you can look this up). It has something to do with FTC regulations, unless I miss my guess entirely. But even if there were no government restrictions, I’m not sure the folks who run the site would even allow that sort of thing, because from what I have read (not that I’ve read a lot about them, but there was one article in Time) it would violate their philosophy; the site is there to promote art, not business. Which is fine as a philosophy, but impossible to maintain in reality once you introduce filthy lucre into the equation.
I’d also be more okay with it if their definition of what was an acceptable creative project weren’t so expansive as to be effectively meaningless. Everything from 24-hour dance projects to video game controllers to a bike tire pressure system are projects on the site, in addition to comic books and novels and music and just about anything else. Some of this might never be able to achieve funding if it had to prove being profitable, but some if it easily could, and either way I almost feel like some of it should have to. We already have enough junk products (does the world really need another Slap Chop?), and I can’t help but believe much of the manufactured pieces coming through here will end up being the same. Is it so much to ask that the people who throw in their hard earned dollars get more than a virtual thank you card while the people who make the product get to use someone else’s money to see their dream through?
Maybe it doesn’t seem like much – $1 here, $5 there – but it adds up. And if I could get ten thousand random people across the internet to kick in just $5, I could take off the next year and finally write that novel I’ve been dreaming about, My Not So Humble America. I’d even offer an autographed picture of myself at the $20 level. And just like that, even if I never sell a single copy, I just made enough money to live on for a year in one of the most expensive cities in the world. If the book takes off, I’m even richer, and all it cost me was a few autographed photos.
You know what? Forget everything I said about Kickstarter. It’s the best site ever. And be sure to keep an eye out for my new Kickstarter campaign, coming your way soon.
Wasting My Rebellious Youth
Posted: December 26, 2012 Filed under: Musings | Tags: growing up, rebel, youth 1 CommentI think I wasted my rebellious youth.
It’s not that I didn’t rebel. I’m sure I rebelled against something, although if you ask me now exactly what it was I couldn’t really tell you. And if you asked me at the time if I was a rebel, I would have flatly denied it. Rebels are supposed to be cool, and cool I was not (I’m pretty sure my sister will back me up on this). Rebels are also supposed to have something they’re rebelling for, or at least something they’re rebelling against, even if it’s just the general ennui that comes from living in a post-modern society that leaves nothing in particular worthwhile to rebel against (see James Dean, Rebel, Cause Without).
It’s not that I didn’t do crazy things, which is the prerogative of youth. I had my goth phase (after goth was cool but before emo was cool), my punk phase (was punk ever cool?), and my drifter phase (which was blessedly short). I made plenty of mistakes, and paid for all of them. I even learned from one or two. I went away to college once or twice, came back, went away for work, came back, and eventually got my life into some semblance of order as much by happenstance as design.
Looking back on it now (as I occasionally do) I wonder what I thought I was accomplishing at the time. Not that I am judging my younger self, because I don’t think it’s fair to judge someone for a lack of knowledge or experience, which by definition I didn’t have then and I do have now. But in some ways I am the same person now that I was then (unless you want to get into levels of metaphysics that I am not comfortable exploring, no offense to the philosophers), and even though I vaguely recall my motivations, about the best I can usually come up with for motivations and explanations for almost everything I did before my mid-twenties or so is “it seemed like a good idea at the time”.
Not that I’m entirely opposed to this line of reasoning in my life even now when the situation calls for it, but I have to wonder if I was really that directionless, or if I had some deeper purpose I was pursuing that I have since lost sight of or forgotten. Was I really living in some quasi-Hobbsian state of nature, or have I simply lost sight of the dreams and goals of the young man I once was? And when I look back twenty years from now, will I be asking the same questions, or will I at least be able to say that I fulfilled some higher purpose, some greater goal in life?
I suppose it goes to the same question I used to wonder about, and still do from time to time. At what point are you “a grown-up”? When do you really become an adult? Is it when you turn eighteen? I sincerely hope not, because I’ve known too many eighteen year-olds, myself included. Twenty-one is also a clear line in the sand, and clearly a bad one. Is it when you get your first “real job”? When you move out of your parents’ house? What if you lose your job or have to move back in (both of which have happened to me more than once)? Do you stop being an adult?
I’m not quite sure why it’s on my mind of late; maybe it’s because, as a friend pointed out recently, I’ve become the patriarch of my family, by default if nothing else. As I said to him at the time I’d just as soon not have the honor, considering the price. Still, we don’t get a choice in these matters. And growing up is something else we don’t get a choice in, no matter how much we’d like to join Peter and Wendy and stave it off for all time.
Even still, I’d like to have back my rebellious youth. This time I’d do it right.
The Sounds of the Season
Posted: December 24, 2012 Filed under: Culture | Tags: Christmas, culture, music, pop culture 2 CommentsAh, Christmas. There’s no other holiday quite like it. Even if you aren’t Christian, you can still get into the secular spirit by drinking heavily, decorating your house with enough lights to divert traffic from the nearest airport, and maxing out your credit cards on things that people will enjoy for as long as it takes them to unwrap the next present. I do so love this holiday. And nothing says “Christmas spirit” like the music of Christmas.
We all have our favorite Christmas ditties. For me, there are a handful of songs that just say, “Let the merriment commence.” I thought I’d take a little time to share them with you, along with some of the reasons that make them so special to me.
First up is the one song that I have to hear before I can officially declare it to be Christmas. That song, of course, is the immortal “Christmas in Hollis” by Run-D.M.C. Now I can hear some of you thinking “are you out of your damn mind?” Others of you may not even be that polite. Allow me to explain. For those of you old enough, cast your minds back to 1987. The very first A Very Special Christmas album had been released, and my dad bought it the first chance he got. He was a huge fan of Christmas music, dad was, and he loved so many of the performers. He couldn’t wait to put it on. He so loved every single one of the tracks, Whitney Houston, Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, even Sting… until…
Let’s just say Dad wasn’t a fan of rap music.
My sister and I, of course, knew what was coming. We were even waiting for it. The look on his face when the song started was priceless. We made him sit through the whole thing, and every year after that it just wasn’t Christmas until we broke out his ever-growing collection of Christmas CDs, dug out A Very Special Christmas, and made sure Dad got his chance to enjoy “Christmas in Hollis” (the fact that Mom grew up in Queens just made it that much funnier). This will be our first Christmas without Dad, but every time I hear that song, I remember him fondly, and I dance just a little in his honor.
The next song that I love at Christmas time is “I Won’t Be Home For Christmas” by Blink-182. Okay, I’ll admit it, this one puts me squarely in the Grinch category, but I swear it’s for a lot of good reasons. First, I’m a Grinch, so there. Second, as far as anti-carols go, this one takes the cake. It is a perfect summary of every negative feeling I have ever had in the Christmas season, bundled together into a zippy pop-punk bundle. The chorus alone is a treasure, with such gems as “it’s time to be nice to the people you can’t stand all year.” Who can deny feeling some shred of that cynicism at least at some point? The fact that my sister knew me well enough to include this song on the Christmas album she put together for me one year makes it all the sweeter, since it turned it from sheer nihilistic anti-commercialistic rebellion into heartwarming, family affirming, nihilistic anti-commercialistic rebellion.
And speaking of My Not So Humble Sister, I’m going to have to loop back around to A Very Special Christmas (that album played very prominently in my childhood Christmas memory) and mention “Christmas, Baby Please Come Home” by U2. Every year, as soon as this one came on, my sister and I would sing this one together, dancing around with abandon, acting like fools, having a grand time. For just a few moments we would forget to be antagonistic teenagers and actually enjoy each others’ company, if only for the length of one song. Anyone who knew my sister and I at that age (or pretty much anytime before the age of 25) realizes the astonishing power that represents, and why I treasure those memories now.
The next song on my parade of Christmas delights is “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms.
What, I’m not allowed to love a classic?
Okay, so here’s the story, even if it is a little embarrassing. As my family will gladly (or ruefully) attest, when I was a little kid I first discovered this song. I thought it was pretty neat until I found out the singer was named Bobby, and then I become obsessed with it. I listened to it practically non-stop for something close to a year. No, not that year. A year, as in 365 calendar days. Did I mention I was obsessed? Anyway, I finally got over it (I think my sister finally hid the record from me), but I still love that song.
To be sure, there are a lot of other songs that I love to hear this time of year, but those are my “must hear” list. Whenever I hear them it’s as if they’re speaking to me directly, and what they’re saying is “Merry Christmas, Bob.” And that’s what I’d like to say to you now.
Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year.
The Joys of Uncomplicated
Posted: December 21, 2012 Filed under: Culture | Tags: culture, entertainment, movies, pop culture, reviews 1 CommentA peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Kraft Mac and Cheese (in the blue box!). Mashed potatoes and gravy. There’s a reason these are some of my favorite foods, and it’s not just because they have enough carbs between them to make Robert Atkins come back from the grave and die all over again. No, it’s because they are uncomplicated. There isn’t anything complex or subtle about them; you know exactly what you are going to get, and that is as wonderful as it is comforting.
The movie equivalent of this would be The Expendables 2. In many ways it is a tour-de-force. On the surface it may seem like nothing but pure action movie schlock, and there’s a reason for that: it’s nothing but pure action movie schlock. But stop for a moment and think about what that really means. When was the last time you saw a pure action movie?
Action movies aren’t supposed to be complicated. They should have a clear good guy (or good guys), maybe a little rough around the edges but very easy to connect with. The bad guy should be so rotten he practically oozes filth. If there is any angst it should last just long enough to give motivation to go out and get the bad guy. And there should be lots of fights: fistfights, knife fights, gunfights, explosions fights, the works. The dialogue should be breezy enough to keep the action moving without getting you bogged down, and juts interesting enough to keep you amused.
And that’s exactly what The Expendables was. The brilliance of the original was that David Callaham and Sylvester Stallone managed to deconstruct the action film and determine exactly what its minimal components should be. They then built the perfect film with a great ensemble cast, putting together some of (if not most) of the greatest action stars of all time. It was fantastic, and of course they were going to do a sequel. So what does a deconstructed sequel to an action film look like?
Basically, it looks like The Expendables 2. You use the same formula as the first, add 20% more explosions, “this time it’s personal”, a couple of fun cameos to round out the whole thing, and bam! You got a sequel. If it feels like the entire movie is one running cliché, it’s mostly because that’s what happens when you break down the formula for (arguably) the most formulaic film genre ever made and strip out all the useless detritus that has been accumulating over the years as people try to disguise the fact that they are making an action film.
But here’s the thing: none of that matters, for two reasons. First, formula or not, the film works. It’s a great action flick, mostly because it doesn’t try to be anything else. If they had tried to add even a dollop of something else (even a hint of romance, or meaning, or whatever) it would have fallen flat on its face. It succeeds because it is pure and uncomplicated, delivering exactly what it promises.
The second reason is that the cast is a lot better than most people give them credit for. Some of them (Sly Stallone, Bruce Willis) are actually astoundingly good actors, and others (I’m not cruel enough to call them out by name) excel within their milieu, which is still pretty damn hard to do. Selling the scene is always difficult; doing it when it could be sitting in a bar one day and the middle of a jungle firefight the next is monumentally tougher. And staying in character while explosions are going off just a few yards away? Not as easy as you think. If you don’t believe me, try it some time. The cast sells this movie, even more than the movie sells itself.
If you’re looking for a great movie that will make you think, will bring tears to your eyes, and in the end will make you believe that people can triumph over any adversity, I highly recommend that you watch The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Great film. But if you just want to have a good time, get a few laughs, and not have to work too hard for it, I highly recommend The Expendables 2.
The Road Away from Hypocrisy
Posted: December 19, 2012 Filed under: Culture | Tags: feminism, hypocrisy, racism, sexism 3 CommentsI used to joke that nobody was allowed to be a hypocrite except for me. It was mostly a joke, but like most jokes there was a kernel of truth in it. I had my own hypocritical tendencies, just like everyone else, and somewhere in my mid-twenties or so (right around the time I started casually studying philosophy) I decided it was time to start facing my own hypocrisies and trying to winnow them out of my life.
Now before you give me any great credit for this, let me be clear about one thing: I do not make any claims that this made me a better person. I still had (and have) plenty of foibles, prejudices, and personal issues to resolve, and some of them I cling to with the tenacity of a dog with a bone. The difference is that I try to at least be aware of them and not sugar coat them with some blind lies. For example, I have come to accept that I am one of the worst drivers on the road. No, seriously. I am a menace to society. I’ll talk smack about other people’s driving all day long, but I don’t go around pretending that I am a model to follow. See? That’s what I mean when I say I am working on not being a hypocrite.
It’s not always easy for me, even now, because hypocrisy is easy. For me, it almost always starts by identifying some obnoxious behavior in someone else. One of my great flaws (what can I say, anything I do, I do it with greatness) is to be judgmental, and I do so love to judge. If I see someone else being rude, or loud, or pushy, or racist, or sexist, or any of a number of other things that I find offensive, I immediately categorize them in my head as “asshole, assorted”. Sometimes I even subcategorize them: “Asshole, loud”, “Asshole, racist”, “Asshole, sexist”. My favorite is the ones who categorize themselves into stereotypes, like “Asshole, Redneck”.
Did you catch what I just did there? That’s right, I just stereotyped someone. And isn’t that what sexism, racism, and all the other evil -isms of the world really come down to? And that’s one of the great hypocrisies I have yet to relieve myself of. I’ve at least gotten to the point where I can catch myself doing it, most of the time, but I haven’t gotten to the point yet where I just don’t do it, which is kind of contrary to my most dearly held principles of addressing every person as an individual. Not that I intend to like every individual, but I prefer to dislike people retail, not wholesale. It’s just got a more personal touch.
The one that I have struggled the most with, and the one that I didn’t even acknowledge until fairly recently, was the concept of “straight white male privilege”. Yes, I know, I’ve ranted before about how life’s not fair for men either, and I stand by everything I said. But one of the things that came out of that was that I was finally pointed toward a description of “straight white male privilege” (I put it in quotes like that because I still see it like that; I did mention I’m still coming to terms with it) that finally at least made some sense to me. In fact, I’m going to specifically ask you to go read that article. I’ll wait here until you come back.
…
All done? So yeah, that worked for me. It clicked. Mostly because before I read that, most of what I had heard focused on how easy straight white men had things in the world, and quite frankly, I’m here to tell you that the people who have it easy are rich. The rest of us have to work for it, just like everybody else. And if you’re smart or (even better) good-looking, that goes a long way too. And there are things that can screw you no matter who you are, like being physically or mentally challenged, or just plain ol’ fashioned bad luck.
And that’s the hypocrisy I’ve been struggling with the most. That refusal to acknowledge that yes, all of this is true, but it’s irrelevant to the conversation at hand. Because rich can happen to anybody, intelligence and good looks can happen to anybody, physical and mental challenges (unfortunately) can afflict anyone, and luck is a fickle bitch. But straight, white and male are all favored classes, and they also “just happen”, but not to just anybody. So I get that now.
And it sucks.
That’s not the world I want to live in. That’s not the world I try to live in. But the fact is, when companies are hiring, they look at my name and they can tell. “White Male” practically jumps off the page. I’m the default setting, and that’s makes a lot of people just that little bit more comfortable. I’m pretty sure I come across 100% hetero in an interview, and that makes a lot of people just that little bit more comfortable.
And it sucks.
That’s not the world I want to live in. That’s not the world I try to live in. But the fact is, I’m only aware of these things when I think about them. It’s not reflexive, because I haven’t lived it. Not that I would choose to; anybody who would deliberately choose to live a life harder than they need to should have their head examined. But I’m working on being aware of it so that I can ignore that “default setting” and approach people the way I intend to, as individuals, get to know them as they are. That’s not to say I’m going to like them, or that I’m going to be anything other than who and what I am. But if I am going to like someone, I want it to be for who they are, not what they are, and if I’m going to dislike someone, I want it to be likewise.
That’s the world I want to live in.
No Time For Politics
Posted: December 17, 2012 Filed under: Politics | Tags: America, gun control, law, politics, Second Amendment 11 CommentsIn the wake of the awful shootings in Connecticut and Oregon, the debate is raging once again over the appropriateness of allowing common citizens to own and carry firearms. Both sides are falling back on the same tired arguments, none of which are likely to sway anyone, nor do I think they are meant to, except in the most deluded cases of those who truly believe that their cause is so righteous that only the willfully blind could ignore it, and all it would take is the proper spin on a terrible enough tragedy to get them to see.
The fact is that both sides of the debate are using each of these atrocities, and every one that precedes them, and each one that follows, as yet another piece of ammunition in their ongoing war (and yes, I chose those words quite deliberately). They have abandoned reason and logic to fall back on fallacies and emotion. These are emotional situations, and rightly so, but the discussion at hand is not. It is one of how we order a just society, and letting that be ruled by emotion always will lead to short-sighted decision making and partisan sniping at best; at worst, I do not even want to contemplate what it could lead to, for fear of being accused of making an argument ad hitlerum myself.
First, allow me to address the “right to bear arms” crowd. As an acknowledged supporter of the Second Amendment myself, I hope that you will not see it as an attack when I say: STFU. Please. Just for five minutes. If I hear one more person say how this was a tragedy about people and not guns, or some other such bullshit, I am going to scream. This was a tragedy involving guns, just like every other school shooting, mall shooting, celebrity shooting, and every other shooting you have to get out in front of in an attempt to defend the vast majority of responsible gun owners. Notice how I tossed you a bone at the end there? There’s a reason for that. I get it. I agree. I’ll even repeat it: the vast majority of gun owners are responsible, law-abiding people. That still doesn’t do a damn thing to bring back a single one of the lost and wasted lives, or repair the shattered lives of those who are left behind. Repeat it like a mantra all you want. It. Does. Not. Change. A. Thing.
Here is the reality we have to live with: if we allow people to own guns, then the possibility of something like this happening again approaches a near certainty. That much has become obvious, and we need to accept that and stop running from it. We, as a society, have to be aware of it, and while we can do everything in our power to minimize it, it is almost impossible to prevent someone who is determined enough from getting their hands on a gun and killing people. That is a fact, and it is unavoidable.
Now, having put all that on the floor, let me speak to the gun control advocates. If I hear one more person make un unfalsifiable claim about how those kids would still be alive if we had better gun control, I will be violently ill. Aside from taking shameless advantage of a terrible situation, you’re also full of shit. Here’s an example of someone using a knife to attack school kids. Now think: do you know anyone who knows how to make dynamite? If the answer is no, come on by and I’ll introduce you to some rednecks I know. It’s not very difficult, and if you can walk into a school with an assault rifle, you can walk in with several sticks of dynamite hidden about your person. My point is not how easy it is to hurt people, my point is that a determined person will find a way, and simply waving a hand and screaming “GUN CONTROL!!!!!” doesn’t change that.
Here is the reality we have to live with: every day in this country, citizens protect themselves, their families (including young children), and their neighbors against violent offenders with lawfully purchased and licensed firearms. Handguns, shotguns, and yes, even “assault rifles”. If you take them away, you leave people vulnerable. Don’t try to claim the police will fill the gap, because the Supreme Court has made it very clear that the police have no duty whatsoever to prevent crime, only to prosecute it (and in some neighborhoods it seems, not even that). We, as a society, have to be aware of this fact, and if we take away people’s right to defend themselves, we are leaving them vulnerable. While we can do everything in our power to minimize it, we have already proven we are not willing to invest the resources even in the best of our communities to protect people against all crimes (even if we could, and we cannot); in our worst neighborhoods we would be leaving them utterly at the whims of the criminals. That is a fact, and it is unavoidable.
These, then, are the costs as I see them. I am not trying to stifle debate, I am trying to start it. Real debate, not simple sloganeering and screaming of worn-out catchphrases from both sides. It is time that everyone admit that there is no good answer, there is no simple, cost-free solution where we all live happily ever after. Maybe then we can decide which costs we are willing to shoulder, admit that we have to pay them, and move on.
And one more thing. I think it’s time we call out the real villains in all of this, and for that I’m turning over the floor to My Not So Humble Mother:
When did a discussion over the necessity of gun control become news? The shooting at the school was a tragedy, no doubt; but using the rapt attention of folks who live off these tragedies as an audience for gun control is not reporting. It’s the worst sort of soapbox scare tactics I’ve ever seen!
I couldn’t have put it better myself. (Now you know where I get it from. Well, half of it at any rate.)
Here is the reality we have to live with: So long as “if it bleeds, it leads” is the mantra that drives “news” reporting, then the message that is being sent is “if you want to be famous, kill people”. So long as editorializing (on both sides of the aisle) replaces honest discussion of the issues, we will never have a meaningful debate, nor will we ever come to a place where we can have any sort of comity in our neighborhoods, in our malls, or in our schools. That is a fact, and it is unavoidable.
The Vacation of Reason
Posted: December 14, 2012 Filed under: Culture | Tags: college, culture, education 4 CommentsI have written before about why nobody should go to college, and yet I am myself still pursuing a college degree. I do this a little bit at a time, just a couple of classes a semester, while I work full-time and still try to produce brilliant, quality content every week for you, my discerning readers. Why do I do it? Is it arrogance? Is it hypocrisy? Is it good old-fashioned stubbornness? Now that I’ve reached the end of yet another in what is coming to seem like a never-ending parade of semesters, I have taken a moment to think about it, and the truth is: I’m not really sure.
Part of it, if I have to be honest, is that I like being in school. Heresy, I know, but for the most part I enjoy my classes. Once I get out of the general education requirements (most of which seem antiquated and bizarre, if not an outright bilking of students to support unpopular departments) I find that the material is fascinating. I am challenged in ways that I will not challenge myself, and as I grow older I have found the expansion of knowledge to be valuable for itself.
Also, and I won’t lie, there is something to be said for the idea of finally completing what I started so long ago. I made a lot of mistakes when I was younger, and if I can someday hang that magic piece of paper on the wall, it may not correct those mistakes, but it will at least lay some of those old ghosts to rest. It will also justify, in some small way, the vast amounts of time and money I threw down what seemed to become a bottomless pit.
Of course, like so many people of my generation, I was inculcated with the belief that you can’t succeed in life unless you have a college degree, and while I may finally have enough work experience and a strong enough professional network to nullify that once-certain claim, shaking it is as easy as a Depression-era kid shaking their need to hoard food and money. The need may be gone, but the fear is not; until I am independently wealthy I will never be secure, and perhaps not even then. After all, money comes and goes, but an education is forever (and so are student loans).
Most of all, I spent some time in deep introspection, and I realized that I can blame it all on my mother.
Now I know what you’re thinking, and you can stop. This isn’t going to be one of those typical sob stories about how my mother pushed me so hard as a child and why didn’t she love me enough. No, this is actually something quite different. Well, mostly. Mom did push me to achieve in school, but no more than any other kid. But what she really did was she went out and got her degree.
I remember when I was in high school, Mom went back to college. She worked full-time, had two kids, and she was always there for every performance (my sister was in choir, I was in theater). And yet somehow she found the time to take classes, to study, and keep going for years (it seemed like an eternity to me) until she finished her degree. She always said she was doing it for work, to get better opportunities and faster promotions, but all I remember to this day (and trust me, it’s been a long time now) is seeing her standing there in that gown, a newly-minted graduate.
It’s been a long road, and it’s still a long one left in front of me. But someday I’ll be standing there, in my gown, a newly-minted graduate. And on that day, I’ll finally be able to say “Here I am Mom. I finally caught up to you.” Even though she was behind me the whole time.
Anarchy X: There and Back Again
Posted: December 12, 2012 Filed under: Anarchy X, Politics | Tags: America, Anarchy X, philosophy, politics, society Leave a commentSeveral months ago I started out on a personal journey of discovery. Unlike many authors who seem to feel they need to take to the road, I abhor travel, so I decided to turn inward and try to explain, as best I could, what I believe, who I am, and the filter through which I view the world. It’s no small thing to encapsulate a worldview; greater thinkers than I am have filled volumes with better writing than I will ever manage trying to do the same, and making it approachable is even harder. The best I could do was pour my simple knowledge and limited understanding onto this page (yes, even now I still think of it as a page) and hope that it makes some sense and connects somehow with someone. While I would never be so presumptuous as to suggest I have scaled Mount Doom, I do feel confident saying what a long, strange trip it’s been.
This series has been as much an exploration of my principles and beliefs as it has been an explanation of them. In the course of that exploration I have discovered (or perhaps reaffirmed) that I am more William Wallace a là Braveheart than I am Patrick Henry; I believe that everyone is born with liberty, and it is not something that can be given or taken away. At worst, someone can violate my rights, even my right to life; as the movie goes, they can take my life, but they can never take my freedom. More than that, I have found, or at least I hope I have found, some semblance of support for that view, or an argument to be made for support, in two of the sources for much of the political discourse in America, The Bill of Rights and the Ten Commandments.
It is possible along the way I have given the impression that I am somehow not proud of my country, or that I am less than a patriot because I do not support every decision that the government, my government, makes; I do not believe that anything could be farther from the truth. I believe there is always, must be, a place for the loyal opposition, and that so long as one is adhering to the core principles that the country is founded on as you understand them then you cannot be said to be unpatriotic. You may be wrong, but being wrong has never been treasonous; if it were, we would all of us be good company for each other in Coventry.
I also believe that it is possible for good people to disagree with my interpretations of these key and critical documents and still be good people. Who knows, they may even be right. I never made any claims to omniscience, nor would I want it; it would take all the fun out of surprise parties. What I do believe is that most people are mostly good most of the time; or as John Agresto put it:
Everywhere we see people fighting for their religion, for their cultural values, for the traditions of their fathers, for their idea of justice. Warped and destructive as they sometimes are, every day we see people driven not by “the economy” but by their creed, their values, their sense of honor. People sacrifice not for things beneath them, but for ideals they believe are higher than they are. And we Americans, with our pride and creativity and sense of duty, patriotism and love of country, are no different.
I couldn’t agree more. I have expressed my creed, my values, and my sense of honor in these posts as best I can. I hope they have resonated with you.
Does that mean this is the end of the Anarchy X series? For now. I promised myself when I started I would take it this far, and now my creativity and pride are driving me to try something new. Perhaps someday I’ll come back to it; after all, America has been around for a very long time, and I expect will be here long after I am gone. Politics, I fear, will last even longer, so I will have no shortage of things to write about.
Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.
(Sorry, I just couldn’t resist.)
Buying Back Childhood
Posted: December 10, 2012 Filed under: Culture | Tags: childhood, culture, pop culture 1 CommentI was watching Comic Book Men recently and a guy came in to sell his Marvel World Playset. This caught my attention not so much because of the asking price (which was $600) or the fact that Kevin Smith bought it for his friend Walt (because Kevin Smith is awesome like that), but because of Walt’s reaction. It wasn’t that I thought Walt’s reaction was odd, or exaggerated, or even grossly out of proportion. As Mr. Smith said, “$600 for a piece of your childhood? How much would you pay to have five years old back?” I get it. I was there myself not too long ago. For our anniversary, my amazing wife got me a copy of the one that got away: Spider-Man #1, the Platinum cover.

This comic came out when I was 16. It was Todd McFarlane doing Spider-Man, my favorite comic hero of all time. There were (as far as I knew at the time it came out) four covers, and you could only buy three of them. The fourth was a retailer incentive, one per store. I wanted it so bad. I yearned for it. I never had a chance. It slipped through my fingers, and I never even thought of trying to buy a copy. It was “the one that got away”. Fast forward, literally, more than a lifetime later. My wife gave it to me as the greatest surprise I have ever received. Other than saying she would marry me, I don’t think she has ever done anything I have appreciated more.
So I get it. Recapturing that magic, going back to that moment when you had all of that in your hands… that’s worth so much. We talked about it for a while, and I asked her if there was any toy, any item she could think of that would take her back to her childhood. She couldn’t think of anything, and I don’t know if that’s the difference between her and me or just boys and girls. For me, it would be Castle Grayskull.
For me, it’s not just about having the coolest toy ever made (that comes later), it would be about recapturing one particular Christmas morning. A morning when I was so excited I couldn’t wait for Mom and Dad to wake up, I had to go downstairs and put my new playset together myself. I was a big kid, I could handle it. Only if I had it to do over I would do it right, and the trapdoor wouldn’t be busted for the next five years until I final lost it in a move.
If we want to get into the coolest toys I never had, well, that list would take a lot longer to put together. I mean, what parent can afford to buy all the love of a child who’s into Transformers, He-Man, G.I. Joe, Star Wars, and Voltron? It can’t be done. Don’t get me wrong, I got no kick coming. My parents always did more than right by me at Christmas and birthdays, and plenty of times in between. But let’s not kid ourselves: children’s entertainment in the 80’s was one long toy commercial, and I was an avid consumer.
Still, if I had to pick just one (I’m an adult now, I can do that, I swear) it would be the Vehicle Force Voltron.
Sure, the Lion Force Voltron had the better show (although didn’t they both always fight “my most powerful Robeast”?), but as toys go you couldn’t beat this one. It was like twenty toys in one. I knew a kid up the block who had one, and I’m not ashamed to admit I was totally jealous. I played with it – I mean I played with him whenever I could. Nice guy.
All this thinking about toys and cartoons from my youth recently got me thinking, and I started getting into thinking about the shows I used to watch. I tried to find them on Netflix, but for some reason they’re not there. I did find Danger Mouse on Amazon, but they want way too much (although Christmas is coming Mom… and no, that wasn’t subtle. I don’t do subtle.) I also found the old Dungeons and Dragons cartoon, which I got for dirt cheap, which is good, because now I can finally see them all in order. And I picked up the first half of Silverhawks, which means I can see those in order. Well, half of them at any rate.
So yeah, Walt. I understand you. There’s no reason to feel ashamed. The truth is, you can’t put a price on your childhood. Or if someone does, that’s even better, because it just means you have a chance to finally buy it back, or a small piece of it at any rate.


