The Soundtrack of My Life: Parental Advisory
Posted: April 3, 2013 Filed under: Culture, Soundtrack of My Life | Tags: culture, entertainment, music, pop culture, reviews 6 CommentsHard as it may be to believe, not all of the music I’ve listened to over the years has been what you might call “family friendly”. In fact, some of it crosses the line into downright offensive. Not in the sense of “it all depends on your taste”, but rather in the sense of “by any societal norm this is beyond the standards of appropriate”. That’s not to say I believe in censorship (obviously), but rather I at least acknowledge that I wouldn’t want children or my mother to listen to it (Mom, please take the hint. No, seriously. Stop reading. Like, right now.)
That having been said, I still love these albums. Some of them for their musical style, some of them for their social importance (and sometimes both), and some… well, I just have a sick sense of humor. Let’s just get it out there. I won’t laugh at just anything (Jimmy Fallon, this means you), but some kinds of vile humor when presented well can be so over-the-top that it’s actually entertaining. It’s not for everybody, but it works for me. (Seriously Mom, you can stop reading now. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)
So here’s some of my all-time favorite albums that push the boundaries and go places few others would dare.
N.W.A. – Straight Outta Compton: Let’s just get the big one out of the way first, shall we? This is arguably the most important album in rap and hip-hop history, and certainly the most important album in gangsta rap. It launched the careers of Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, and Eazy-E. While you can as easily make an argument that this album glamorizes the gangster lifestyle as it does making a realistic portrayal of it, for myself I have heard few (if any) later albums that have presented as honest and raw a depiction of life in a gang. With such lyrics as “I might stumble but I still won’t lose/now I’m dressed in the county blues” there is at least a cursory acknowledgement contained within the otherwise violent and misogynistic lyrics that this is not a lifestyle that has good long-term options. It is a brutal portrayal of a brutal situation, and one that, while not completely absent of humor, also does not completely shy away from boldly expressing an anger and frustration that did not have a clear voice up to that time in the music industry. Some of the key tracks I would recommend are the titular “Straight Outta Compton”, “Gangsta Gangsta”, “I Ain’t Tha 1”, “Dope Man”, and of course the famous “Fuck the Police”.
Faith No More – Angel Dust: I’ll be honest, I was never a big fan of Faith No More, in spite of their popular album The Real Thing (which contained the hit song “Epic”). Then they released Angel Dust and that all changed. “A Small Victory” completely rocked my world, and I decided to listen to the rest of the album (a friend had already bought it; this was back before downloads, even the illegal kind). The music was a wild ride, ranging back and forth from sedate and sedating to brutal and breathtaking, while the lyrics where hypnotic and disturbing all at once. This album came along at a time in my life when I was unsure about my direction, and the disjointed themes and mismatch between many of the lyrics and musical movements fit my mood perfectly; listening to it now takes me back to that time and helps remind me how far I’ve come. Some of my favorite tracks include the aforementioned “A Small Victory”, as well as “Midlife Crisis”, “Kindergarten”, “Crack Hitler”, and “Midnight Cowboy”.
Lords of Acid – Lust: This was one of the first techno albums I was ever introduced to, and to this day it remains one of my favorites. (That having been said, if you think you like techno and you don’t already own Pretty Hate Machine, hang your head in shame and then go educate yourself.) I remember the day I first heard it (this is going to sound strange, but bear with me). I was in a friend’s basement for our weekly gaming night (as I’ve already mentioned, I’m an RPG geek from way back) and he had invited a new guy to join our group. I don’t remember the guy’s name (sorry, guy) but he brought some music with him, and I do remember this. It was like a revelation for me. The bass that pumped right through me, the beats that got my heart pumping, and the vocals… well… Mom, if you’re still reading this despite all my warnings, just stop now. I’ll wait.
I swear to you now, it was like aural sex. There’s just no other way to describe it. With an album title like Lust I suppose that’s to be expected, and it’s definitely a theme album, but just wow. Did they ever nail it. It’s dirty, it’s rough, and it’s got it all down. I’ve heard more than one person say this is the best album ever to have sex to, and I can’t disagree. This isn’t an album for or about making love, this is about getting your freak on, and for that purpose there is no substitute. If you’re up to it, the best tracks on the album would be “Take Control”, “Rough Sex”, “I Sit On Acid”, “Lessons In Love”, and “Hey Ho!”, although really it’s best experienced as a whole.
Gwar – Scumdogs of the Universe and America Must Be Destroyed: And at last we come to the grand finale. Gwar is a band that truly has no redeeming features. You either love them or you are completely repulsed by them. A satirical heavy metal band that goes beyond pushing the envelope and moves straight into ripping it to shreds, they use elaborate props and costumes as part of a stage show that violates every possible obscenity law… on purpose. These guys go out of their way to offend. They’ve been banned in at least one state that I know of, and they’ve also been nominated for at least one Grammy (long form video for Phallus In Wonderland, based off the album America Must Be Destroyed). While there have been other attempts to do revolting satire of metal, I haven’t found one yet that quite strikes the balance between musicality (yes, they do actually manage to play their instruments passably well), surprisingly intelligent and socially relevant lyrics (if you can get past all of the offensiveness), and brilliantly raunchy humor. The tracks that I would recommend trying to see if you can appreciate their unique brand of satire would be “The Salamanizer”, “Slaughterama”, “Vlad the Impaler”, “Sexecutioner”, “Have You Seen Me?”, “The Morality Squad”, “America Must Be Destroyed”, “Blimey”, and “The Road Behind”. Just make sure you have a strong stomach.
Still More of My Favorite Movies (That You’ve Never Seen)
Posted: March 27, 2013 Filed under: Culture | Tags: movies, pop culture, reviews 6 CommentsI don’t know why I keep coming back to this. Maybe it’s because I just spent so much time watching TV as a kid. I hated going outside. Outside is where my sister was. And sunshine. And fresh air. And exercise.
But I digress.
I loved TV, and TV loved me. I especially loved watching really off-beat comedies, movies that made no sense whatsoever, and the weirder they were the more I loved them. I suppose that explains why so few people seem to know some of these films, although it has been gently suggested to me that it may also be because I’m getting old and all of these movies predate DVDs. I would like to point out that Star Wars predates the mass-market success of the VCR, but I still have no tolerance for anyone who hasn’t seen it (you know who you are).
But I digress again.
Here’s some of my favorite off-beat comedies from back when I was a kid. They’re best taken with a grain of salt (or better yet several grains, lime, and tequila), with tongue planted firmly in cheek.
Little Shop of Horrors (1986) – Believe it or not, this is a movie version of an off-Broadway musical based on a 1960 comedy with Jack Nicholson (I can’t comment on that version, since I’ve never seen it). What I can say is, this thing is a laugh riot. It’s creepy enough to try to do a comedy about a carnivorous sentient plant from outer space (yes, you read that correctly), but making it into a musical takes it to a whole new level. The brilliant caricatures of the mousy shop attendant Seymour Krelbourne (played by Rick Moranis), his overbearing boss Mr. Mushnik (Vincent Gardenia), and the ditzy blonde love interest Audrey (Ellen Greene). Of course, any fan of the movie will tell you the absolute scene stealer is the inestimable Steve Martin as Orin Scrivello, DDS, the sadistic dentist and Audrey’s “boyfriend”, who’s rousing rendition of “Dentist!” will leave you squirming with laughter. The numerous cameos from other famous comedians (including John Candy and one of the most disturbingly funny performances ever from Bill Murray) round out a fantastic cast in this terrific musical.
Big Trouble in Little China (1985) – I have no idea how to even begin classifying this movie. I’ll go with the Amazon.com description because it seems to cover all the bases: “mystical action-adventure-comedy-kung-fu-monster-ghost-story”. Everybody get that? I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be (very loosely) based on Chinese mythology, but please don’t quote me on that, because I don’t want to offend anybody (the film takes care of that for me, I’m sure). Kurt Russell plays a truck driver named Jack Burton (get used to that name, you’ll hear it a lot), owner of The Pork Chop Express (I’m not making this up), who gets caught up in an attempt by a near-immortal Chinese businessman to kidnap a girl (still not making this up), and he has to help his friend and an interfering busybody played by a young Kim Cattrall, assisted by some Chinese gangsters (how could I possibly make this up?) to rescue her from the aforementioned kidnapper and his three powerful sorcerer sons before he becomes immortal (why would I make this up?). If you like Army of Darkness you’ll probably like this movie; in fact, if you just like wierd, out there stuff you’ll probably like this movie. It’s got some decent FX (especially for its time), and the martial arts action is actually pretty good. The comedy is solid and doesn’t distract from the plot, which is roundabout but gets where it’s going.
Spies Like Us (1985) – My dad once described Chevy Chase as “so funny he can make me laugh standing still.” I have to agree with him. Hell, I even kind of liked Fletch, and that’s saying something. Pair him up with Dan Aykroyd and you have a near-perfect recipe for comedy gold, which is exactly what this movie is: near-perfect. Aykroyd delivers his usual character-driven humor while serving as a perfect straight man for Chase to deliver almost non-stop one-liners. Together they make a terrific comedy team, and the ludicrousness of putting them in a Cold War-driven “spy movie” vehicle is a brilliant recipe for disaster. The only drawbacks are that the middle of the movie drags a little, although that is more a matter of the rest of the film being so spot-on in comedic timing that it becomes nigh-impossible to sustain for almost two hours, and the last few minutes feel a little tacked on. Those are only minor quibbles, however, and overall this is still one of the funniest movies I have ever seen, and I still quote it to this day.
Biloxi Blues (1988) – If you asked me why I love this movie, I couldn’t really give you one good reason. I might have to say “Neil Simon”, because I don’t think I’ve ever read a Neil Simon play I didn’t love. Or maybe it’s Matthew Broderick (this is pre-Godzilla), or even Christopher Walken’s brilliant turn as Sergeant First Class Merwin J. Toomey. Perhaps it’s just because I felt a strong connection, even at an early age, to the character of Eugene, who seemed so horribly out of place in the Army in general and boot camp in particular. The writing is sharp, and the dialogue is top-notch, witty without feeling deliberate. It’s not a simplistic film, taking some serious turns and having more than a few darker moments that spice the humor and remind you that life isn’t always laughter; rather, laughter is there to help us survive the dark times. It’s a surprisingly deep film for a comedy, particularly one that can still be viewed as somewhat of a “coming of age” film (although most of that is covered by the previous film from the Eugene trilogy, Brighton Beach Memoirs, which is also good although I don’t care for it quite as much).
How To Get What You Want Without Really Trying
Posted: March 25, 2013 Filed under: Culture, Musings | Tags: advice, culture, etiquette, life 123 CommentsThe other day I was out grocery shopping, and I saw a sweet deal on my favorite soda. I go through the stuff like most people go through water, so I jumped on it. When I got to the counter it didn’t ring up correctly, and I brought it to the clerk’s attention. He said it would ring properly after the sale finished, but it didn’t so I brought it to his attention again. Long story short, the soda was mislabeled. I had to go through a bit of a song and dance, but I got my money back (and the soda too!), which was pretty nice.
The experience reminded me that I’ve had plenty to say in the past about bad customer service, but having been on both sides of the retail counter plenty of times, I’ve also seen plenty of bad customers. While the retail experience has been perfected from art to science (quite literally), the retail customer doesn’t seem to have changed much from the dark days when I plied the trade. For those of you who might find yourselves in a customer service crisis, here’s some tips on how to get the most out of the situation.
Be Polite – I can’t think of a single situation in my life (other than a fistfight) that hasn’t or couldn’t have been improved by being polite. I’ve seen a lot of people try to intimidate store clerks and managers, either physically or socially, and I have to tell you it almost always backfires. Being polite at the least keeps the situation in the realm of negotiation, which means you might get something, rather than demand, in which case you’re far more likely to get nothing.
One of my favorite misconceptions in retail is “the customer is always right”. I don’t just mean this as a factual misconception, I mean this as a misconception in the sense that anyone in retail does or should believe this. Maybe if I only had a handful of customers come in on a regular basis and my livelihood depended on them, then maybe I would consider this phrase, but still unlikely. In this day and age, when most retail is as anonymous as an online chat room and I have no reason to believe I will ever see you again, why should I go out of my way to put up with your crap? Because you’ll badmouth me to all your cheap friends, who are as likely to pull the same stunt as you are? Yeah, that’s a threat.
Here’s another way to look at it: suppose I came to your office one day and told you that you were doing everything wrong. I (very loudly and obnoxiously) explain how you should be doing your job, running your business, and handling every situation, even though I clearly have no idea what I’m talking about, and chances are better than even you saw be stealing some rubber bands from the supply closet fifteen minutes ago. Then, to top it all off, I insist that I know how to run your business because I worked in a similar business for a summer in high school, thus implying that any idiot can do it.
Would you at all be inclined to give me anything I want under those conditions? If so, you’d be the first.
Be Patient – The next biggest sin I see people committing (and I do this too, but I try not to) is that they assume there should be someone ready to help them as soon as they need it, especially if they feel like they’ve been wronged somehow. I get this, I do. You paid good money for a specific product or service, and that product or service was not produced. You want satisfaction, and the longer you have to wait, the more you feel you are being cheated, because your time is also valuable.
Here’s the thing: They’re (usually) not making you wait on purpose. Most stores understand that having an unhappy customer standing around fuming does not make them look good to the other customers. But there are other customers to consider, and that’s assuming someone is even aware of your needs. Then there are certain procedures they need to follow, which if they don’t could mean they lose their job, which means a lot more to them than your displeasure (and trust me, they will never get fired just because you asked to speak to the manager and they were following the procedures).
Most of all, if there’s any flexibility to be had in this situation, you want it to work for you, not against you, and the fact of the matter is you are not in the position of power that you think you are. They might prefer not to lose you as a customer, but the more of an asshole you are the less they care, and there’s no law against not giving in to your unreasonable demands. Even on the (very off) chance they’re in the wrong, what are the chances you’re going to sue over a can of tomatoes or even something as big as a sweater? Slim to none, and they know that. So cool your jets.
Be Flexible – This one’s a little tough to internalize, but it’s important. Most people go into a customer service situation expecting they are there to right a wrong. Not so. You are going into a negotiation, and the rules are a little fuzzy. There may be laws that apply, but do you know them? Do you really think the kid behind the counter does? And does anyone really care? There’s store policy, but that usually has some leeway to it. And then there’s custom and convention, which are pretty weak guidelines at best.
So understand that you are not there to right some moral wrong. You have a situation you want resolved, one were you feel you were not treated fairly, and you have a specific preferred resolution in mind. That’s nice. You might even get that. But be open to the possibility that there are in fact laws, policies, or even customs and conventions that are going to work against or even completely prevent you getting exactly what you want. And that’s even assuming you are completely right about the situation, which I’ve seen all too many times isn’t the case.
So now what? Well, you can resort to screaming and demands and see how far that gets you (usually escorted out of the store), or you can be flexible. Oftentimes unless you are completely in the wrong store managers will prefer to find a negotiated middle ground where the customer walks away feeling satisfied, and you can use that fact to your advantage. If you were expecting a full refund, maybe a partial refund, or a discount on a future purchase or exchange. Be open to alternatives.
Be Firm – This goes hand in hand with being flexible. Unless you are completely in the wrong (in which case you should make as quick of a retreat as you can), stand by your guns. Don’t let the manager or anyone else try to bully or snowball you. I’ve seen plenty of times where they will pull out a circular or ad and say something like “that was last week’s sale” when they forgot to change the signage in the store, even though we both know their own store policy is to honor their posted prices.
There’s no need to be a dick about it, but make sure to stand your ground and be aware of your position. The best thing to do in these cases is to simply refuse to argue with them. If they pull out the circular, nod and say something like “I’m sure that’s the case, but the posted price on the shelf was different.” This way you aren’t engaging them, but you are refusing to be scared off as well. And notice: still polite. Eventually (if you are patient) they will likely offer some recompense. If you’re flexible, you should be able to get something satisfying.
UPDATE: Within a few days, I got a chance to test out my own advice. Check out what happened.
The Soundtrack of My Life: Dharma Days
Posted: March 22, 2013 Filed under: Culture, Soundtrack of My Life | Tags: culture, entertainment, music, pop culture, reviews 9 CommentsShortly after I left high school, in that nebulous period I best define as somewhere between “I wasn’t in college” and “I didn’t have a job” (my parents were so proud), there was a coffee house my friends and I would hang out at in the evenings. By evenings I mean usually after 9 PM, for reasons I can’t quite define except for perhaps that some of them were in fact in school or had jobs, and other than that it just seemed like a good idea at the time.
Anyway, this wasn’t some Starbucks-clone or even a tragically hip hangout where all the cool kids went (although it eventually ended up being somewhat of the latter). It was a strange oasis, a place where everyone was equally welcome (or unwelcome, considering the surliness of the staff and the regulars). Once you became known and established you were accepted as a part of… something. Not the family, because it wasn’t as closely-knit as a family, although there were some sub-groups that did become that close. Nor was it a club or a clique, because most people didn’t care that much, although some people did. In the end I guess you could say you were just accepted as part of the group, the zeitgeist that simply was the experience of being there. That’s not to say they wouldn’t still hurt you or take advantage of you (if they were the kind of people who would do that in the first place), but at least they would protect you from outsiders who would try to.
If I sound nostalgic for that time and place, it’s only because I am. I wouldn’t go back to it now if I could, because I made a lot of mistakes there, and I know better now. But to be young enough, vibrant enough, and innocent enough to make those mistakes is something I occasionally miss. And I miss having a place I can go, have a cup of coffee, hang out with some friends, play cards, and listen to music like this.
The Cure – Disintegration: If you don’t know who the Cure are, chances are you are either over the age of 60, under the age of 20, or have lived in a cave. This is one of the defining albums of the goth movement (emo kids, pay attention, this is where you came from), and a landmark album in rock and roll history. Not only does Robert Smith have a uniquely breathy, seductive voice, but the instrumental work on the record goes far beyond anything that is traditionally thought of as “pop music”. Dark without being depressing, sexy without being explicit, this is a fantastic example of how to make subtle yet powerful music. Possibly the most famous track from the album, “Lovesong”, has been covered by such notables as 311 and Adele, as well as a host of other bands. “Pictures of You” is another famous track off this album, although I would highly recommend checking out the less well-known “Fascination Street” and my personal favorite “Lullaby”, which is probably the sexiest, most disturbing song I have ever heard.
The Pixies – Doolittle: Whenever I mention the Pixies, someone invariably brings up Surfer Rosa. Okay, I’m going to admit it upfront. I must not be much of a Pixies fan, because the truth is I thought that album sucked. It sucked the big one. Boring with a capital “OH DEAR GOD MAKE IT STOP.” Which surprised me a great deal, since my only previous exposure to the Pixies had been through the soundtrack to Pump Up the Volume, on which they had the UK Surf mix of their classic “Wave of Mutilation”, and Doolittle, the album on which that song originated. I had to get that out there, because as much as I don’t like Surfer Rosa, I do like Doolittle. It’s offbeat, quirky, it’s got a unique, almost-but-not-quite punk sound to it that I’m sure someone can define but I can’t, and it just works for me. In addition to “Wave of Mutilation” (which I really can’t recommend highly enough), my other favorite tracks off this one are “Here Comes Your Man” and “Monkey Gone to Heaven”. If you want something well out of the mainstream that still has a good strong rhythm, give this a try.
Counting Crows – August & Everything After: For a long time after this album became big, it wasn’t unusual for my friends and I to sit around playing cards and drinking coffee just about every night up at Dharma. Inevitably, this album would come on, and inevitably, one of my friends (and he knows who he is) would wail along in a caterwauling screech “ROOOOOOUND HERE!” Yes, we got looks from the other patrons, and as I recall more than once the staff asked us to shut him up. Ah, good times. To this day I can’t listen to that song without hearing his voice in my head (although if he’s in hearing distance that’s because he still does it). The truth is though that I loved this album from the very first time I heard “Mr. Jones”, and every song on the album is a winner for me. It’s sad, poignant, melancholy, and beautiful. If there’s hopefulness in this album, it’s tempered with a sense of realism that change isn’t easy and it always comes at a cost, and sometimes that cost is too high. While “Round Here”, “Rain King”, and “Murder of One” are probably the best known tracks, be sure to check out “Perfect Blue Buildings”, “Anna Begins”, and “Raining in Baltimore” if you’ve never heard them.
emmet swimming – Arlington to Boston: Although I rarely if ever heard emmet swimming played inside Dharma, it wasn’t unusual to hear them being played on someone’s car stereo outside. You could also hear them playing live from the next bar over, as they were regulars at the place next door, and I did get to see them live once at Dharma (I was just never a bar kind of guy back then). This is one of those bands that I was late to the party on, and I regret it, because had I realized at the time how great they are I would have gotten to see them a lot more. They still play live from time to time (if you’re in the DC Metro area I highly suggest checking out their website at http://www.emmetswimming.com), and I have seen them a few times in the last few years. While I can easily recommend any of their albums, this remains one of my favorites. While their big radio hit was “Arlington”, I actually feel like it may ironically be the weakest track on the album (not that it’s bad, just that there are so many great songs). Picking out favorites is tough, but My Not So Humble Wife loves “Bullet In Your Hand”, so that one’s easy. “Fake Wood Trim”, “Living Room”, and “8:45” are also not to be missed, but really, the whole record is not to be missed, so there you go.
That’s it for tonight. Time to put up the chairs and turn out the lights.
Related Posts:The Soundtrack of My Life: Odds and Ends
The Soundtrack of My Life: An Ongoing Series
The Soundtrack of My Life: I Discover the Nineties
How We’ve Failed a Generation
Posted: March 20, 2013 Filed under: Culture, Musings | Tags: business, culture, education 8 CommentsI’ve gone on at length before about young people starting out in jobs today, and truth be told my opinion hasn’t materially changed since then. I have been listening to stories from others, however, and I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: it isn’t just me. Everyone I talk to seems to feel the same way. And it isn’t just the employers, it’s the teachers too (I know more than a couple). This got me to thinking that maybe the problem, dear Brutus, lies not in our employees but in ourselves.
I remember back to when I was in high school and even elementary school (no, dinosaurs didn’t walk the Earth; we even had indoor plumbing), and I can remember being a part of the very leading edge of what has been cited by most of the teachers I have spoken with as the biggest issue of all: the Self-Esteem Movement. For those of you who are not familiar with this, it was the idea that no child should be made to feel bad about themselves, because children who have good self-esteem succeed. It should be self-evident that this is a matter of putting the cart before the horse, and if it isn’t then after a decade or so of bad results I would have expected they would have given it up, but from what I hear every child still gets a trophy (or a ribbon, or what have you).
Seriously?
I’ll admit, I was a little slow on the uptake with this one. I was thrilled to get a trophy at first. Granted, back then they still gave out different size trophies for first, second, third, and “congratulations, you showed up”, but still, I was thrilled to get one. Sue me, I was eight. A few years later when I got my first big boy trophy (for second place) I realized what a sham all the rest of them were, and the truth is it not only cheapened the “also ran” trophies, it even tarnished the big one a little. The idea that I had been feeling good about something that I never really earned took away from the real victory when I finally got it. I’ve heard some places get around this by giving everyone the same size trophies.
Likewise, I have heard tales of schools were students are not allowed to be given failing grades. I fail to see how this is in any way constructive. I was threatened with failure more than once in school, and let me tell you, it is an excellent motivator. Not only that, but life does not protect us from failure. Either we succeed or we do not, and while there may be a sliding scale of success in many cases, the absence of the possibility of failure is a luxury we are rarely afforded, so it is a poor lesson to impart at any age.
But I don’t want to reserve all of my vitriol for the school system. The fact is that as employers, in many cases, we are doing ourselves a disservice as well. When we interview employees, how often are we asked “what will this job entail?” To be honest, I get this question more often than you think, and to my shame, I don’t give nearly as honest a response as I should. Why? Because I actually want to hire someone, and if I told people what the job actually requires, nine times out of ten they wouldn’t take it. That’s not to say the job is abusive, but it’s not “big-thinking”, “creative”, “decision-making” stuff, at least in most cases. In most cases the work can be summed up in one word: spreadsheets.
So I do what everyone does: I soft-sell the job, try to oversell the good parts and downplay the bad parts instead of giving a full and honest accounting of what it’s going to be like, as if I’m a used car salesman and they’re the latest sucker – excuse me, customer to come on the lot. Then they take the job, because they don’t have the experience to ask the probing questions or see past the sunshine, and six months later they’re dissatisfied, disappointed, and despondent, and I’m none too thrilled with their performance. So who’s really to blame, them or me?
We’re saddling kids with an unrealistic understanding of how the world works before they enter the work force, and then giving them unrealistic expectations before they begin the job. After all that, we fault them for not succeeding. I’m not saying they shouldn’t take any responsibility for their own success (because it’s time we expect at least that much of them), but I do think it’s time we stop making it harder for them to succeed than it has to be.
Other posts you might like:
Fashion Advice for the Professional Gentleman
On Achieving Work-Life Balance
The Meaning of Education (guest post from My Not So Humble Wife)
Even More of My Favorite Movies (That You’ve Never Seen)
Posted: March 18, 2013 Filed under: Culture | Tags: movies, pop culture, reviews 6 CommentsContinuing on a recent theme, I’ve come up with yet another batch of movies that just don’t seem to have the recognition I feel they deserve. Rather than focus on just one genre this time, I thought I’d spread it out a bit with some fantasy, some comedy, and some… well, there’s one that I’m not sure what genre to call it. I’ll let you decide.
Excalibur (1981) – Let’s be clear about one thing: I had a professor in college who was an Arthurian scholar. If she had any idea I was recommending this movie to ANYONE, she would slap me with a copy of the Morte d’Arthur. This film has so many historical and literary inaccuracies it wouldn’t know what accuracy was if you hit it in the face with a tuna carved out of the stuff. But I love it anyway. The acting is sharp, the settings are lush, and the music is perfect. They paid so much attention to detail I have to believe they basically decided going in that there was a certain story they wanted to tell, and they weren’t going to let trivial things like “facts” get in the way. You have to admire that kind of chutzpah. Arthur is kind of a putz, but it works because he’s Arthur, and we’ve been led to believe by modern culture that’s what Arthur is supposed to be (see my point about literary accuracy above). Merlin is far and away the best part of this film and well worth watching for all by himself, and the entire affair (quite literally) between Lancelot and Guinevere is handled marvelously, enhancing without overshadowing the plot, as is the quest for the Grail, and Morgan le Fey and Mordred are incorporated in fascinating if (again) historically inaccurate ways. If nothing else they deserve an award for best use of “O Fortuna” from Carl Orff’s “Carmina Burana” in a film.
Highlander (1986) – Anyone who knows me should see this as no surprise, and frankly the idea that there’s more than three people on Earth who haven’t seen this movie both shocks and offends me. Granted, the movie is older than some full grown adults, but that’s no excuse. I’ve seen Citizen Kane (and it wasn’t as good, in MNSHO). Ah, well. This is a fantastic fantasy/sci-fi adventure of immortals born throughout different times on Earth, destined to fight each other until only one remains.
I actually sat here for five minutes trying to come up with a better plot summary to explain why this cult classic has remained popular for so long and launched a hit TV series as well (please, if you love your own eyes, DO NOT WATCH THE SEQUELS), but I can’t. It’s just one of those things that’s better than it sounds. The location work outside of the city is actually quite beautiful, and the sound work on the film is great. The cinematography is top notch, and they do a great job playing with the idea of what immortality really means, both the good and the bad. The special effects are kind of dated, but the acting is still pretty good, and hey, Sean Connery. The entire soundtrack was done by Queen, so it has that as a bonus as well. Just watch it. Trust me on this one. It has a lot going for it.
The Crow (1994) – There was a time in my life where if you hadn’t seen this movie, I didn’t want to know you. Of course, there was also a time in my life where I dressed all in black, smoked clove cigarettes, and listened to The Cure a lot. These times may or may not have overlapped. This should not in any way reflect on the quality of this movie. It’s not exactly an easy one to place; it’s starts with a brutal murder of a man and his fiancée by a vicious gang of criminals. He then comes back as a revenant to seek revenge against the people responsible. I know this sounds like a horror flick, and I’m not trying to soft-sell the violence, because there’s plenty to be had (Brandon Lee actually died in an accident filming this movie). But there’s a lot more going on here, both in terms of the emotional depth of the relationships between the characters and the acting (Michael Wincott in particular gives a stellar performance as Top Dollar). There’s a lot of ugliness and beauty, violence and pain, and in the end, a small amount of peace in this film. It’s a tall order for such a short running time, and not one I would recommend for a “rom com” kind of night, but if you want something different, check it out.
Better Off Dead (1985) – Who says I don’t love a good romantic comedy? Okay, so this isn’t exactly a typical rom com, but it is possibly the best John Cusack movie ever made (with the possible exception of Grosse Pointe Blank). Stocked with a series of over-the-top characters that are more caricatures than fully realized (or even two-dimensional and trying) representations, the this slightly black (more grey, really) comedy manages to combine the essence of teen romance film and screwball comedy into a breezy, fast-paced romp that doesn’t slow down long enough to take itself seriously. There are a few points where the jokes drag (I’ve watched it at least a hundred times and I still don’t get the bit with the animated burger), but overall the gags manage to carry it through. While there are plenty of snappy one-liners, what keeps me coming back every time are the running jokes, like the psychotic newspaper boy, Lane’s mother’s cooking, and of course his botched (and never serious) suicide attempts. If it sounds weird, well, it is. If it sounds sick, yeah, that too. But man, is it funny.
The Soundtrack of My Life: Punk Rock Nation
Posted: March 13, 2013 Filed under: Culture, Soundtrack of My Life | Tags: culture, music, pop culture, punk, punk rock 1 CommentDeep down in my heart, I’ve long wanted to be a punk rocker. What can I say, it looks good on me.
And before you ask, yes, it’s real.
Even though I don’t have the stamina for it anymore, and the truth is I never quite jelled with a lot of the politics that tends to run through a substantial portion of punk music, the sound of it just works for me, and there is a strong anarchist strain that I can get behind. There are a few bands that I enjoy, and a couple records that hold a special place in my heart.
The Vandals – Hitler Bad, Vandals Good: Who said video games never taught me anything? It was “Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater” that first introduced me to this band and album, particularly the fantastic “Euro-Barge”. It was a revelation for me, fast, driving and pounding without taking itself too seriously. I had to know more, but I had no idea who they were. Fortunately I have a friend who enjoyed THPS as much as I did, and he loved the band too. He found the album, introduced me, and the rest is history. I’ve listened to a couple other Vandals albums and they never quite did it for me (although the song “Anarchy Burger (Hold the Government)” is a classic), but this one is pure magic through and through. In addition to the aforementioned “Euro-Barge”, I highly recommend “Money’s Not an Issue”, “I’ve Got an Ape Drape”, and “My Girlfriend’s Dead”. They all manage to capture the essence of punk while still being fun and light-hearted, which is something a lot of punk music manages to miss.
Goldfinger – Goldfinger: Somewhere between ska and punk (I’m a bit of a fan of both without being heavily into either), this leans just a bit more heavily in the direction of punk. I was originally hooked by the (commercially successful) “Here In Your Bedroom”, which I still love, but there’s a lot more to them than that. Their ability to switch up the tempo and style in seconds makes for a jarring, disconcerting, frenetic experience, which for me is best exemplified by such tracks as “The City With Two Faces” (Mom, if you’re reading this, please don’t ever listen to this song. Seriously. Not parent safe.) At the same time they can turn it around and do goofy, fun songs like “Mable”. It’s not an album for the faint of heart or people who can’t handle a LOT of F-bombs, but it is a great antidote for anyone who is sick of commercial pop music.
The Ramones – Loco Live: I’m not usually a fan of live albums, for two reasons. The first is that very few bands are as good live as they are in the studio, and the second is that live albums just can’t capture the feel and the energy of being there that a concert provides. In fact, there are only two live albums I’ve ever loved, both of which were introduced to me by the same friend who found that Vandals album (I really need to buy him a beer). This is one of them. I missed every opportunity I had to see the Ramones live, and now I’ll never get the chance, but this album comes very close. The Ramones are one of the only bands I know that are actually better live than in the studio, and this may be them at their best. If this doesn’t capture the energy of being there, it’s close enough for poker. Pick a Ramones song you like, it’s probably on there, and done in half the time you’re use to (and twice as good). The energy that comes rolling out of your speakers when you listen to this one picks you up and carries you right along. Even better than the music is the obvious connection the band shares with the audience, feeding off their energy and using it to go even further. It’s a great experience and not to be missed, especially for those of us who never got the chance to enjoy it in person.
The Offspring – Americana: I know a lot of people aren’t as big a fan of “new wave punk” as I am, but I think that’s just snobbery. While I wasn’t a huge fan of their first album, I did enjoy a few of the tracks, and unlike some other would-be punk bands (I won’t name names) they managed to be punk without faking British accents and include some social commentary without getting preachy. I really feel like they hit their stride with this one. The album as a whole is fairly light-hearted, with tracks like “Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)”, “Feelings”, “She’s Got Issues”, and “Why Don’t You Get a Job?”, while still working in a subtle thread of social commentary in more than a few of those tracks. They save the heavier commentary for “The Kids Aren’t Alright” and (arguably) “Walla Walla”, while still not being preachy or condemning any one group. It’s the sort of thing I personally believe punk rock is best suited to do: highlight social ills in an engaging way, without laying blame in a particular direction, but instead insistently demanding redress.
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Please Steal This Idea
Posted: March 8, 2013 Filed under: Culture | Tags: console games, culture, gaming Leave a commentI remember when my Dad first brought home our Atari 2600. That system changed my life (although my family might argue it was not for the better). If my parents’ generation was raised by television, my generation was raised by video games, and I loved them. I played all kinds of games, and I remember playing on almost every system that came out in the 80s and 90s, even if I didn’t own them (and I owned quite a few). In addition to that 2600, I owned a Nintendo, a Super Nintendo, a PlayStation, a PlayStation 2, an Xbox, an Xbox 360, a Wii, and a PlayStation 3, not to mention all the iterations of computers I’ve had.
But lately I’ve been hearing announcements about the PlayStation 4, and I have to admit something I never thought I would say: I really don’t care. The truth is I couldn’t name five games that have been released for the PlayStation 3, let alone played them. I might, might have played three games on the PS3, although considering one of them was Tony Hawk HD I’m not even sure that counts. Another was Final Fantasy XIII, which I never got more than thirty minutes of actual game play out of, although I spent several hours watching cut scenes.
So what have I used it for? Collecting dust, mostly. Same with my Xbox 360. The problem is that the games cost too much and demand too much, and quite frankly the systems try to do too much. Once upon a time (and I realize I’m dating myself here, but bear with me) console systems were designed for one thing: playing games. Now they’re designed to be music players, Blu-Ray players, web browsers, connect to every possible internet service, and oh yeah, play games occasionally too. And all for the low, low price of a few hundred bucks straight out of the box, plus peripherals, plus the cost of games, which is going up every year, IF you don’t include DLC, which all of them do.
The problem I have with this is that I already have a Blu-Ray player that works a lot better and is easier to navigate, I have more ways to listen to music that are more portable and do a better job, if I want to surf the web I’ll use my computer or (heavens!) take it with me, and as for the internet services I want, I can get them anywhere a lot faster and easier. What I want form these consoles I can’t seem to get anymore: a unique and fun gaming experience that doesn’t take an IT genius to set up and doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. (I mention the IT genius because the only person I know that actually uses all these systems the way they’re designed to be used is, in fact, and IT genius.)
So here’s the crazy I want someone, anyone, to take and run with: make a stripped down, basic console. One that just plays games. And no motion sensitive, wild and crazy, “new experience” controllers, please. Just give me a quality gaming experience. Hey, Big Gaming Companies: if you really think people want something outlandish and expensive in their gaming, why are you losing market share to $0.99 games? Why did social games take off? Was it the “innovative” game play? Hardly. It was the basics. A good story, a fun time, something simple and basic, that people didn’t have to mortgage their house for.
I’m sure it can be done, and fairly easily. When I can cruise around and find a memory stick that can do the job in lots of 20 for less than $5 each, processors for $11.00 in ten seconds or less, and I can probably find the rest of the components with a little work, I seriously doubt it would be that hard for a major manufacturer to put together a workable console that could retail for under $100 (or even $50). Get some kids straight out of college to put together short games that would play in ten to twenty hours and retail them for $20. Even resale, they’d only drop to $10 at the lowest, and at that price you’ll sell enough to maintain a profit margin, plus get the goodwill of not looking like you care about the secondary market. If someone wants to write a longer story, just break it up into a series. Lord knows franchises are the Holy Grail of gaming anyway.
I can’t believe it would be that hard, and it’s a wholly unexploited market share today. There’s a lot of people who want to play games, but staring down the barrel of a $400 up-front cost is just too daunting, and upwards of $80 for a game I might play for a week just doesn’t cut it anymore, particularly in this economy. Bring it back down to earth, and watch them fly off the shelves.
The Soundtrack of My Life: My Very Own Lilith Fair
Posted: March 6, 2013 Filed under: Culture, Soundtrack of My Life | Tags: culture, Lilith Fair, music, pop culture, pop music 7 CommentsSome of you may remember “The Lilith Fair”, a very successful music festival founded by Sarah McLachlan in an attempt to promote female artists. While I never attended myself (I’ll be honest, the lineup never thrilled me enough to justify the purchase price), the concept is certainly as good as any other excuse for a music festival, and there are more than a few female artists and female-led bands that have had albums I count among the best I have known.
Sarah McLachlan – Fumbling Toward Ecstasy: Where better to begin than with the original Lilith Fair’s founder? While Fumbling Toward Ecstasy was not Sarah McLachlan’s first record, it was the Canadian pop star’s first international hit, and certainly my first exposure to her music. I was immediately captured by the power and passion of “Possession”, and I’m not going to lie, the fact that she was beautiful didn’t hurt. (I was 19. Cut me some slack.) When I bought the album, I was mesmerized by the haunting, ethereal quality of her voice, and the range of her ability. She was able to bring the same presence to a song as bouncy and light as “Ice Cream” as she did to a dark and disturbing track like “Hold On”. While she’s had other, bigger hit records since then, I still believe this is her finest work.
Concrete Blonde – Bloodletting: While we’re on the subject of dark and disturbing, let’s talk about Bloodletting, shall we? The third studio album from Concrete Blonde, there’s a definite goth feel to this one, which is how I was initially exposed to it, which would also be why I am well and truly sick of hearing the title track (even though I have to admit it’s a great song). Sure, it’s a vampire song (it’s even subtitled “The Vampire Song”), but for my money there are much better tracks on this record. Being a Ramones fan I couldn’t help being drawn to “Joey”, which I was told was a song about a tumultuous relationship between singer-songwriter/bassist Johnette Napolitano and Joey Ramone (it’s a false urban legend, in case you’ve heard the story; still a great song, though). If I had to pick a favorite song on the album, I would be torn between the power-driven “The Sky Is a Poisonous Garden” (which considering the goth nature of the album and certain key references leads me to believe it may be an allusion to Edgar Allen Poe, which I love) and “Tomorrow Wendy”, another song that delicately straddles the line between ballad and punk-rock power. The beauty of this album is that while it can be easily accessed on the first listen, it has layers of complexity that will only unwind with repeated attention.
Indigo Girls – Rites of Passage: While I’m not often wrong, when I am wrong, I’m wrong in a big way, but I do try to at least admit to it. So let me state, publicly and for the record, that I was wrong. My Not So Humble Sister was the one who introduced me to this album, although not in the traditional way. Rather she listened to it over and over and over (it’s a genetic flaw we shared, known within the scientific community as “being a teenager”). I rebelled against this and refused to even admit there might be merit. Eventually I relented, mostly due to the song “Galileo”. It was a big hit at the time, and I finally had to admit maybe there was something here. Their cover of “Romeo and Juliet” by Dire Straits was also impressive, and in fact it took me a long time to warm to the original after I became obsessed with this version (more on that another time). The complexity of their lyrics, combined with the beautiful harmonies they performed together finally won me over, and they manage to cover a lot of musical territory in one album.
Shakespear’s Sister – Hormonally Yours: Rounding out the Lilith Fair is another album recommended to me, although this time in the more traditional way, and once again it’s a duo that brings together fantastic harmonies and manages quite a wide range of musical style. My first exposure to them was through the only big hit I can recall them having in the US, “Stay”, which had an… interesting video, to say the least (I couldn’t explain it if I tried). When I mentioned it to a friend, he had me listen to the entire album, and I fell in love. I never would have guessed that Siobhan Fahey had been a member of Bananarama just a few years earlier, but that’s show biz for you. While the album is almost certainly pure pop, there’s also something richer and deeper than traditional pop music here, as the blending of these two different voices and the lyrical territory they cover takes it into what might be dubbed “anti-pop” territory. Some prime examples of this are “Goodbye Cruel World”, “My 16th Apology”, “Emotional Thing”, and “Let Me Entertain You”, in addition to the aforementioned “Stay”. Finishing off the album with the surprisingly mellow and downbeat “Hello (Turn Your Radio On)” is the perfect finish to this hidden gem.
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More of My Favorite Movies (That You’ve Never Seen)
Posted: March 1, 2013 Filed under: Culture | Tags: culture, movies, pop culture 3 CommentsA couple of weeks ago, I (re-)introduced the world to a few of my favorite movies that seem to have fallen by the wayside in pop culture. After giving it some thought, I realized there are a whole host of movies I’ve loved that aren’t even mentioned anymore, so I thought I’d dip back into the pool of memory and share a couple more gems with all of you. This time I’ll be dredging up some of the best (and worst) comedic fare I’ve ever known, from the most laughable decade I’ve lived through: the 1980s.
Trading Places (1983) – Before he started doing movies that suck like Bowfinger and Daddy Day Care, you could pretty much count on Eddie Murphy to be rock-solid comic gold. Dan Aykroyd already had a pretty solid resume including the amazing The Blues Brothers (the original, not the cash-cow abomination of a “sequel” he insisted on inflicting on us all). Put them both together with Jamie Lee Curtis and some other faces you’d know even if you wouldn’t recognize the names (Denholm Elliott, Ralph Bellamy, Don Ameche), and you have a guaranteed great movie. But that wasn’t enough. They went and put together one of the best “Prince and the Pauper” style stories ever, with hilarious twists and some of the wittiest dialogue I have ever witnessed. Murphy is at the top of his game in this film, Aykroyd plays his character’s entire ride to the hilt, and Bellamy and Ameche are so wickedly delightful I can’t help loving them. The theme of this movie has managed to hold up surprisingly well, and it is instantly relatable, unlike some other more serious films to come out of the Decade of Greed.
The Last Dragon (1985) – Lest you think I come to praise the 80s and all they have wrought, I bring you this delightfully polished turd. To this day I’m not sure what they were attempting with this film. If I had to venture a guess, I would say it was a satire of both cheap kung-fu and blaxsploitation films that were popular in the 1970s. Unfortunately the risk with any kind of parody is that you dance too close to the fire and fall into self-parody, becoming the thing you were attempting to mock. Or maybe I’m wrong, maybe they really thought they had a great script with this one, which just makes it that much funnier. It’s the story of a young man obsessed with Bruce Lee whose name is Bruce Leroy (I’m not making this up), whose brother is obsessed with being “cool” and breakdancing (still not making this up), who has a rival named Sho’ Nuff (how could I make this up?), and is in pursuit of something called “the Glow” (why would I make this up?). This is all in the first fifteen minutes or so. There’s also an evil record producer and a singer-ingénue played by Vanity (don’t remember her? That’s okay, nobody does). The best part is this movie was nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Original Song for “Rhythm of the Night” and two Razzies for Worst Original Song for “The Last Dragon” and “7th Heaven”. Like I said, it practically mocks itself.
Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid (1982) – Not all parody fails, and when it succeeds, it succeeds brilliantly. Before he started doing “serious” and “deep” roles, one of the great masters of parody was Steve Martin, and this movie may be his masterpiece. A perfect send-up of the film noir genre, directed by the legendary Carl Reiner, Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid works on several levels. Like any great parody, it actually manages to serve (at least nominally) as a proper noir film, including a beautiful femme fatal and a sinister plot. That having been said, the bad (sometimes tasteless) jokes start early and come rapid-fire, with the unusual convention of weaving mini-scenes from actual film noir movies into the movie for the actors to respond and react to. The result is a study in how to do straight-faced comedy from one of the all-time masters of the art.
Stripes (1981) – What is it about SNL alums from the 80s? They make great comedy, then they get all serious. Bill Murray was great once… Ah, well. Years before anybody ever heard of a Ghostbuster, Bill Murray and Harold Ramis got together and made a scathingly witty send up of military culture and life. Along with a fantastic supporting cast including the legendary (and sadly missed) John Candy and brilliant John Larroquette, this film is somewhat like the Marx Brothers meets Band of Brothers. While the humor tends to be a bit juvenile and raunchy, it’s relatively tame by modern standards, and it’s almost always laugh out loud funny. Murray has already perfected his ability to convey nuance with a glance, but he still manages to bring more passion than many of his later roles. For those who only know Ramis from Ghostbusters, this will be a special treat, as it is a very different and more outgoing character for him. Highly recommended as a “history of comedy” must-see.
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My Not So Humble Opinion 