The Soundtrack of My Life: Parental Advisory

Hard as it may be to believe, not all of the music I’ve listened to over the years has been what you might call “family friendly”. In fact, some of it crosses the line into downright offensive. Not in the sense of “it all depends on your taste”, but rather in the sense of “by any societal norm this is beyond the standards of appropriate”. That’s not to say I believe in censorship (obviously), but rather I at least acknowledge that I wouldn’t want children or my mother to listen to it (Mom, please take the hint. No, seriously. Stop reading. Like, right now.)

That having been said, I still love these albums. Some of them for their musical style, some of them for their social importance (and sometimes both), and some… well, I just have a sick sense of humor. Let’s just get it out there. I won’t laugh at just anything (Jimmy Fallon, this means you), but some kinds of vile humor when presented well can be so over-the-top that it’s actually entertaining. It’s not for everybody, but it works for me. (Seriously Mom, you can stop reading now. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

So here’s some of my all-time favorite albums that push the boundaries and go places few others would dare.

N.W.A. – Straight Outta Compton: Let’s just get the big one out of the way first, shall we? This is arguably the most important album in rap and hip-hop history, and certainly the most important album in gangsta rap. It launched the careers of Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, and Eazy-E. While you can as easily make an argument that this album glamorizes the gangster lifestyle as it does making a realistic portrayal of it, for myself I have heard few (if any) later albums that have presented as honest and raw a depiction of life in a gang. With such lyrics as “I might stumble but I still won’t lose/now I’m dressed in the county blues” there is at least a cursory acknowledgement contained within the otherwise violent and misogynistic lyrics that this is not a lifestyle that has good long-term options. It is a brutal portrayal of a brutal situation, and one that, while not completely absent of humor, also does not completely shy away from boldly expressing an anger and frustration that did not have a clear voice up to that time in the music industry. Some of the key tracks I would recommend are the titular “Straight Outta Compton”, “Gangsta Gangsta”, “I Ain’t Tha 1”, “Dope Man”, and of course the famous “Fuck the Police”.

Faith No More – Angel Dust: I’ll be honest, I was never a big fan of Faith No More, in spite of their popular album The Real Thing (which contained the hit song “Epic”). Then they released Angel Dust and that all changed. “A Small Victory” completely rocked my world, and I decided to listen to the rest of the album (a friend had already bought it; this was back before downloads, even the illegal kind). The music was a wild ride, ranging back and forth from sedate and sedating to brutal and breathtaking, while the lyrics where hypnotic and disturbing all at once. This album came along at a time in my life when I was unsure about my direction, and the disjointed themes and mismatch between many of the lyrics and musical movements fit my mood perfectly; listening to it now takes me back to that time and helps remind me how far I’ve come. Some of my favorite tracks include the aforementioned “A Small Victory”, as well as “Midlife Crisis”, “Kindergarten”, “Crack Hitler”, and “Midnight Cowboy”.

Lords of Acid – Lust: This was one of the first techno albums I was ever introduced to, and to this day it remains one of my favorites. (That having been said, if you think you like techno and you don’t already own Pretty Hate Machine, hang your head in shame and then go educate yourself.) I remember the day I first heard it (this is going to sound strange, but bear with me). I was in a friend’s basement for our weekly gaming night (as I’ve already mentioned, I’m an RPG geek from way back) and he had invited a new guy to join our group. I don’t remember the guy’s name (sorry, guy) but he brought some music with him, and I do remember this. It was like a revelation for me. The bass that pumped right through me, the beats that got my heart pumping, and the vocals… well… Mom, if you’re still reading this despite all my warnings, just stop now. I’ll wait.

I swear to you now, it was like aural sex. There’s just no other way to describe it. With an album title like Lust I suppose that’s to be expected, and it’s definitely a theme album, but just wow. Did they ever nail it. It’s dirty, it’s rough, and it’s got it all down. I’ve heard more than one person say this is the best album ever to have sex to, and I can’t disagree. This isn’t an album for or about making love, this is about getting your freak on, and for that purpose there is no substitute. If you’re up to it, the best tracks on the album would be “Take Control”, “Rough Sex”, “I Sit On Acid”, “Lessons In Love”, and “Hey Ho!”, although really it’s best experienced as a whole.

Gwar – Scumdogs of the Universe and America Must Be Destroyed: And at last we come to the grand finale. Gwar is a band that truly has no redeeming features. You either love them or you are completely repulsed by them. A satirical heavy metal band that goes beyond pushing the envelope and moves straight into ripping it to shreds, they use elaborate props and costumes as part of a stage show that violates every possible obscenity law… on purpose. These guys go out of their way to offend. They’ve been banned in at least one state that I know of, and they’ve also been nominated for at least one Grammy (long form video for Phallus In Wonderland, based off the album America Must Be Destroyed). While there have been other attempts to do revolting satire of metal, I haven’t found one yet that quite strikes the balance between musicality (yes, they do actually manage to play their instruments passably well), surprisingly intelligent and socially relevant lyrics (if you can get past all of the offensiveness), and brilliantly raunchy humor. The tracks that I would recommend trying to see if you can appreciate their unique brand of satire would be “The Salamanizer”, “Slaughterama”, “Vlad the Impaler”, “Sexecutioner”, “Have You Seen Me?”, “The Morality Squad”, “America Must Be Destroyed”, “Blimey”, and “The Road Behind”. Just make sure you have a strong stomach.

The Soundtrack of My Life: Dharma Days

Shortly after I left high school, in that nebulous period I best define as somewhere between “I wasn’t in college” and “I didn’t have a job” (my parents were so proud), there was a coffee house my friends and I would hang out at in the evenings. By evenings I mean usually after 9 PM, for reasons I can’t quite define except for perhaps that some of them were in fact in school or had jobs, and other than that it just seemed like a good idea at the time.

Anyway, this wasn’t some Starbucks-clone or even a tragically hip hangout where all the cool kids went (although it eventually ended up being somewhat of the latter). It was a strange oasis, a place where everyone was equally welcome (or unwelcome, considering the surliness of the staff and the regulars). Once you became known and established you were accepted as a part of… something. Not the family, because it wasn’t as closely-knit as a family, although there were some sub-groups that did become that close. Nor was it a club or a clique, because most people didn’t care that much, although some people did. In the end I guess you could say you were just accepted as part of the group, the zeitgeist that simply was the experience of being there. That’s not to say they wouldn’t still hurt you or take advantage of you (if they were the kind of people who would do that in the first place), but at least they would protect you from outsiders who would try to.

If I sound nostalgic for that time and place, it’s only because I am. I wouldn’t go back to it now if I could, because I made a lot of mistakes there, and I know better now. But to be young enough, vibrant enough,  and innocent enough to make those mistakes is something I occasionally miss. And I miss having a place I can go, have a cup of coffee, hang out with some friends, play cards, and listen to music like this.

The Cure – Disintegration: If you don’t know who the Cure are, chances are you are either over the age of 60, under the age of 20, or have lived in a cave. This is one of the defining albums of the goth movement (emo kids, pay attention, this is where you came from), and a landmark album in rock and roll history. Not only does Robert Smith have a uniquely breathy, seductive voice, but the instrumental work on the record goes far beyond anything that is traditionally thought of as “pop music”. Dark without being depressing, sexy without being explicit, this is a fantastic example of how to make subtle yet powerful music. Possibly the most famous track from the album, “Lovesong”, has been covered by such notables as 311 and Adele, as well as a host of other bands. “Pictures of You” is another famous track off this album, although I would highly recommend checking out the less well-known “Fascination Street” and my personal favorite “Lullaby”, which is probably the sexiest, most disturbing song I have ever heard.

The Pixies – Doolittle: Whenever I mention the Pixies, someone invariably brings up Surfer Rosa. Okay, I’m going to admit it upfront. I must not be much of a Pixies fan, because the truth is I thought that album sucked. It sucked the big one. Boring with a capital “OH DEAR GOD MAKE IT STOP.” Which surprised me a great deal, since my only previous exposure to the Pixies had been through the soundtrack to Pump Up the Volume, on which they had the UK Surf mix of their classic “Wave of Mutilation”, and Doolittle, the album on which that song originated. I had to get that out there, because as much as I don’t like Surfer Rosa, I do like Doolittle. It’s offbeat, quirky, it’s got a unique, almost-but-not-quite punk sound to it that I’m sure someone can define but I can’t, and it just works for me. In addition to “Wave of Mutilation” (which I really can’t recommend highly enough), my other favorite tracks off this one are “Here Comes Your Man” and “Monkey Gone to Heaven”. If you want something well out of the mainstream that still has a good strong rhythm, give this a try.

Counting Crows – August & Everything After: For a long time after this album became big, it wasn’t unusual for my friends and I to sit around playing cards and drinking coffee just about every night up at Dharma. Inevitably, this album would come on, and inevitably, one of my friends (and he knows who he is) would wail along in a caterwauling screech “ROOOOOOUND HERE!” Yes, we got looks from the other patrons, and as I recall more than once the staff asked us to shut him up. Ah, good times. To this day I can’t listen to that song without hearing his voice in my head (although if he’s in hearing distance that’s because he still does it). The truth is though that I loved this album from the very first time I heard “Mr. Jones”, and every song on the album is a winner for me. It’s sad, poignant, melancholy, and beautiful. If there’s hopefulness in this album, it’s tempered with a sense of realism that change isn’t easy and it always comes at a cost, and sometimes that cost is too high. While “Round Here”, “Rain King”, and “Murder of One” are probably the best known tracks, be sure to check out “Perfect Blue Buildings”, “Anna Begins”, and “Raining in Baltimore” if you’ve never heard them.

emmet swimming – Arlington to Boston: Although I rarely if ever heard emmet swimming played inside Dharma, it wasn’t unusual to hear them being played on someone’s car stereo outside. You could also hear them playing live from the next bar over, as they were regulars at the place next door, and I did get to see them live once at Dharma (I was just never a bar kind of guy back then). This is one of those bands that I was late to the party on, and I regret it, because had I realized at the time how great they are I would have gotten to see them a lot more. They still play live from time to time (if you’re in the DC Metro area I highly suggest checking out their website at http://www.emmetswimming.com), and I have seen them a few times in the last few years. While I can easily recommend any of their albums, this remains one of my favorites. While their big radio hit was “Arlington”, I actually feel like it may ironically be the weakest track on the album (not that it’s bad, just that there are so many great songs). Picking out favorites is tough, but My Not So Humble Wife loves “Bullet In Your Hand”, so that one’s easy. “Fake Wood Trim”, “Living Room”, and “8:45” are also not to be missed, but really, the whole record is not to be missed, so there you go.

That’s it for tonight. Time to put up the chairs and turn out the lights.

The Soundtrack of My Life: Odds and Ends

The Soundtrack of My Life: An Ongoing Series

The Soundtrack of My Life: I Discover the Nineties