Son of My Favorite Movies (That You’ve Never Seen)

Posted: May 1, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Culture | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

About a week ago I was going through my Dad’s old movie collection, packaging it up and selling what I could, disposing of the rest. It made me realize something: my Dad and I had very different tastes in movies. Not that he had bad taste, mind you, just very different. James Bond, for instance. I like Bond films well enough, and I’ve seen all of them since Octopussy, but Dad had seen and loved all of them, and he had them all on DVD (and more than a few on VHS). As for John Wayne, he had more than a few collections, and he had most every John Wayne film ever made on DVD… all 169 of them. I never really understood his appreciation for John Wayne, but then I’m not sure he ever understood my appreciation for Tim Curry, so fair’s fair.

I had planned to talk about all the obscure movies that I found in Dad’s collection that I loved, but the truth is most of the ones we had in common were either well known (like Rocky II)  or I’ve already mentioned (like Excalibur). So I’ll take this opportunity to cover a couple I did find as well as a couple I think Dad would have liked.

The Name of the Rose (1986) – Based on the book of the same name by Umberto Eco, this film stars two of my favorite actors, Sean Connery and a young Christian Slater (somehow I only seem to like a young Christian Slater). It’s the story of a Franciscan monk and his apprentice who investigate a series of strange deaths at a monastery.  Call it a period mystery, if you will. I can’t really go into much more description without giving away lots of the plot, but the best part of this movie for me is the depth of characterization and world building. Apparently a lot of that derives from the source novel (which My Not So Humble Wife loves, although I’ve never personally read it), but the acting is top notch as well. While Connery drives the majority of the action, I want to give special attention to Ron Perlman as Salvatore; it’s a difficult role to play with empathy and he does it exceptionally well.

The Legend of the Lone Ranger (1981) – This was probably the first (and for a long time the only) western I ever really liked, let alone loved. I think this film gets a lot of grief for both deserved and undeserved reasons. There’s a certain amount of unrealistic expectations, in the same way that any iconic pop culture figure will have that any departure from established traditions will only exacerbate. That having been said, there’s also a certain amount of heavy-handedness: in the attempts to make the bad guys truly evil, to make Tonto more than a stereotype (and in the process making every other Native American in the film a bigger stereotype), and in the attempts to make John Reid into a larger-than-life hero. With all that having been said, I still believe this movie largely succeeds at being greater than its flaws, and if approached with an open mind and in the spirit of a western dime novel or “gritty remake” of an old radio show, it can be very appealing.

The Searchers (1956) – I had to watch this movie for a film class I took a few years ago, and I’m glad I did. After I finished, I immediately called my Dad and said, “Hey Dad, I take back everything I ever said about John Wayne. You were right.” He asked me what movie I watched, and when I told him, he wasn’t in the least surprised. “You started with the best.” The conversation went on from there, and we must have talked for an hour just about this movie and how amazing it is, and why. I could lay it all out for you here, but you should really just watch it for yourself. Not only does John Wayne give one of the most fantastic, nuanced performances I have ever seen, but the entire film is full of great performances, amazing visuals, and a stirring and poignant plot. If you only watch one western in your life, this should be it.

Cat Ballou (1965) – Now, if you’re going to watch two westerns in your life, may I make another suggestion? I remember watching this movie as a kid with my Dad and My Not So Humble Sister and it made no sense to me whatsoever. Why were people singing? In a western? (Bear in mind this film preceded Paint Your Wagon by about five years.) Isn’t that Nat King Cole? And I’m pretty sure that’s Jane Fonda. Wait, why is that gunslinger drunk? What in the world is going on here? That was basically my reaction to this movie the first five times I watched it. It took me a long time to realize (a) this was a comedy and (b) there was a plot, I just wasn’t following it. Once I got it all straight, I learned to stop worrying and just go with it, and it actually turned out to be a pretty funny little film. Not the greatest comedy or western ever but enjoyable, and Lee Marvin puts in an Oscar-winning performance, so it has that going for it. And hey, Nat King Cole.

Guest Post: Taking the Fear Out of Trips

Posted: April 29, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Culture | Tags: , , | 4 Comments

While I’m more of a stay at home kind of guy, I do enjoy listening to the travel adventures of my friend Keri from Heels First Travel. So much so, in fact, that I’ve even considered traveling myself at some point (for those who know me, this comes as a truly amazing revelation). When I asked Keri for her top suggestions to take the edge off my travel concerns, she offered the following excellent advice.

I’m an avid traveler. And by avid, I mean crazy. Like spending 25 hours in Alaska because a cheap fare came up and I really wanted to see it but couldn’t take time off work. So at this point I’ve made almost every mistake with my flights, hotels, and tours you can make. And far from ruining my trips I’ve actually found it freeing. Because now “the worst” has happened and I no longer have to worry about what I might have forgotten and can dare to be impulsive, spontaneous, and last minute.

But it took quite a while for me to initially get into travel because I was afraid of messing up and not knowing what I didn’t know. So I’m here to spare you my paralysis. If you want to travel, start booking! Are you going to get things wrong? Yes! And is it the end of the world or will it totally ruin your trip? Probably not.

Things I’ve learned:

  • Eventually you will oversleep and miss your flight. You will be able to rebook and/or afford a different last minute ticket.
  • You will not hear your flight announcement and miss your flight even when you’re in the airport. You might do it twice. Or more. This is why they have airport hotels.
  • No matter how much research you do, the place you most want to see, in my case the Louvre, will be closed, in my case on strike, the whole time you’re there. Think of it as a great opportunity to see the lesser known, hopefully just as awesome but less crowded, sites in the area.
  • You will show up at the hotel only to discover you had one more page to go before your reservation was confirmed, you booked for the wrong dates, or the hurricane that swept through New Orleans over Labor Day left your hotel without power. This is what Hotwire and Priceline are for.
  • Or you show up to discover the pictures on the website had caught that hotel at its absolute best, never more to be seen again. That just makes for a better travel story. J
  • Public transportation is unreliable (2 hours wasted on a 36 hour stay in Sydney Australia) and cabs are far more expensive than you think ($200 to the airport). Just roll with the punches and think about it as investing in colorful memories.
  • Sometimes the $5 mini bar snacks are better than wandering an unknown city at night for 45 minutes looking for a 7-Eleven.
  • You will repeatedly forget and re-buy phone chargers, laptop chargers, deodorant, and toothbrushes. If you’re averaging forgetting one thing or less every trip you’re doing great!

Some consider me an expert at travel, but I’m not afraid (although maybe a little embarrassed) to admit I’ve already re-experienced 4 of the things on the list above since the year started. So if a so-called travel expert can make these mistakes, you’re totally off the hook.

For more on Keri’s adventures and travel tips visit www.HeelsFirstTravel.com.

The Soundtrack of My Life: Y2K Bug

Posted: April 26, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Culture, Soundtrack of My Life | Tags: , , , , | 6 Comments

One of the funny things about going through the dustbin of your own history is that you will occasionally discover odd synchronicities that you had never been aware of before. There are three great bands with three great albums that I never realized all released in the same year, although considering everything else that failed to happen in that year, I suppose it’s not surprising I didn’t notice all the great music that was going on all around me at the time.

Wheatus – Wheatus: Anyone over a certain age knows the song “Teenage Dirtbag”, which is almost a shame, because I think that’s what doomed this fantastic band. While it’s not unusual for a band to be a one-hit wonder (particularly when their one hit is nothing like the rest of their music), Wheatus got doomed for the opposite reason. Their one hit was too clever by half; it seemed like there was no way the rest of their music could possibly be that sharp, could hit that same note of teen angst so accurately, with just the right blend of sympathy and gentle poking of fun. Truth is, the rest of the album may not be in the same character of “teen angstyness”, but it is sharp, witty, and powerful. Lyrically the tracks range wildly, and the music varies between alt-rock and just this side of experimental in some places. Some of the songs may sound like typical pop fluff on first listen, but there’s a lot of substance underneath, and the album is worth more than a few listens. I highly recommend “Sunshine”, “Hump ‘em N’ Dump’em”, “Leroy”, “Love Is A Mutt From Hell”, “Punk Ass Bitch”, and the awesome cover of “A Little Respect”.

SR-71 – Now You See Inside: Okay, so I’ll be honest, I have no reason to be proud of discovering this band earlier than most folks did. It’s not like I knew them back when they were Honor Among Thieves, nor did I ever go see them live even though they were right up in Baltimore (which isn’t all that far away). So what pulled me in? The song “Right Now”. Yeah, I was that shallow. Or rather I’d at least like to establish that, at the time, I was very much between relationships and… you know what, I can’t even defend this one. Yes, it was sad that this song is what grabbed my attention, but I didn’t pick up the album until after I heard “Politically Correct”. That was the song that made me realize these guys were more than a one trick pony. The lyrics were just as clever on both songs but went in totally different directions. The music was the sort of solid rock I had been missing for a long time, with driving rhythms, strong guitars, and a lead vocalist who has what I can only describe as an acid-washed whiskey voice. IN addition to the two I mentioned above, to get a good sample of the range on this album, I would suggest checking out “What a Mess”, “Last Man on the Moon”, “Fame (What She’s Wanting)”, “Non-Toxic”, and “Paul McCartney”.

Snake River Conspiracy – Sonic Jihad: Possibly the only time I can remember MTV doing anything for me since the mid-1980s (and this is not because of me, this is because I can’t stand “The Real World”), I accidentally turned on the falsely named Music Television one day when they left an intern in charge and he (or she, I won’t be sexist) and this fool unknowingly played music videos. I was so stunned I actually sat and watched them for the whole half hour they were on before cooler heads prevailed and put on a three hour marathon of Road Rules: Say Goodbye to Good Taste. In the midst of this accidental bonanza, I saw a video for Snake River Conspiracy’s cover of “How Soon Is Now?” by the Smiths. The secret to a good cover is to find something in the original that you can reference while making the song your own, which SRC does beautifully here. They take the lush, deep, symphonic sound of the original and bring the tempo up just slightly to make it feel a little more rushed, a bit more like a dance tune. Tobey Torres’ vocals strike a unique counterpoint to Morrissey’s somber tone from the original, and they go in a playful direction where the original goes more serious and (dare I say it) full of itself. They bring this same fun, playful energy to many of the other tracks on the album, including a great cover of “Lovesong” by the Cure, although there are more than a few harder, more industrial-influenced moments as well. Overall there’s a lot to like here, including “Breed”, “You and Your Friend”, “More Than Love”, and “Somebody Hates You”.

 

Other posts you might like:

The Soundtrack of My Life: I Discover the Nineties

The Soundtrack of My Life: Dharma Days

The Soundtrack of My Life: Parental Advisory

How Episodic Television Shows Are Killing Their Own Business

Posted: April 24, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Culture, Internet | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

I watch Netflix about as much these days as I do regular TV, and here’s why: when I can actually get the service to work (thank you Verizon), I can watch entire seasons of shows at once, without having to wait a week at a time, without having to sit through reruns, without having to “choose” between two shows in the same time slot (like I really watch either of them when they come on anyway, it’s called DVR folks), but most of all because I don’t have to sit through commercials.

Unfortunately, I usually have to wait a few years for a single season of a show to hit Netflix, assuming it ever does. I assume this is because they want to make sure to get their money from the first run, the reruns, the syndication, the DVD sales, the syndicated DVD sales, the reruns of the syndicated DVD sales, and whatever all else they do. It’s not until they have a given season running on at least three basic cable channels (or they’ve been passed up by five) that they “stoop” to leasing the rights to Netflix, and even then I’ve seen some shows yank the rights back (I got about five episodes into Babylon 5 before they did this to me).

Why? What do they really think they’re getting out of this? Is there some rabid ocelot in a back room that flails around on a Twister board and they interpret these signals as decisions? Here’s a little clue for you, Oh Great And Powerful Television Executives: the people who bother to watch syndicated television are not the same people who watch Netflix or similar streaming services. Not even close. There may have been, once upon a time, a cross-over audience between those who bought entire seasons of TV shows on DVD and the streaming audience, but that’s a dying trend, too. Only the truly rabid fan base is going to care that much and they will still be there for you (probably wearing a handmade costume piece from their favorite character that you sent a cease and desist order about).

As I see it, there are three primary audiences “second run” television should be aiming for. The first is the hardcore audience, the folks who love a show enough to want everything about it. These folks will buy the entire season on DVD/Blu-Ray, especially if it comes with extras like cast interviews and commentary. The next audience would be the “catch-up” audience. This is what I envision as the folks who only heard about the show from friends well after the season (or the show itself) started and don’t want to jump in halfway through. They want to binge, catch-up to the current storyline, and watch all the first run episodes from there. These are the folks who will watch all the back episodes on a streaming service (small revenue source) and then become more eyeballs for the new episodes, you know, the ones with the most expensive commercials (big revenue source). Finally there’s the casual viewers who like the show well enough to leave it on but don’t consider it “must see” television. This is where you get your syndicated television dollars.

In an ideal world, I envision the lifecycle of a show would be this:

  • First run, including all reruns in primetime slot. Season ends.
  • As soon as season ends, entire season is available on DVD/Blu-Ray and streaming services. DVD/Blu-Ray includes bonus features.
  • Over off-season, previous season reruns in primetime slot.
  • After new season starts, last season enters syndication immediately.

The benefit of this system for the viewers is obvious. The benefit for the studios is a little more subtle, but what it means in the long run is less pirating and more eyeballs for first-run content. When people don’t have to feel 2-5 years behind the storyline (unless they feel like coughing up a couple hundred bucks for a show they might or might not like), they’re more likely to get invested. And more invested fans means a higher percentage of rabid fans, which means more DVD sales. The syndicated episodes aren’t going to be hurt any, because the folks who weren’t willing to pay for streaming services are still going to be there, and the ones who did? You grew your audience for those episodes.

The fact that Netflix and Hulu are coming up with their own original programming is just going to hurt these guys even more. Now there are even fewer reasons to be attached to networks and their ridiculous scheduling. I understand once upon a time the system was rigged in such a way that it was winner take all and pitting the best shows against each other meant you had the best chance of crushing the other guy and getting all the money, but here’s a thought: maybe people don’t watch TV that way anymore. Maybe (and this might even date back to the advent of the VCR) people expect to be able to watch ALL the shows they like, not just one or two. Having them all in the same time slots and on the same schedule just seems… well… dumb. But if you have to continue playing that game, at least give yourselves the best chance at a second chance, and stop holding back last year’s episodes until nobody cares anymore.

The Soundtrack of My Life: I Discover the Nineties

Posted: April 19, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Culture, Soundtrack of My Life | Tags: , , , , | 6 Comments

As I look back on this series so far, it’s occurred to me that I may seem to be stuck in the 80s. There’s a reason for that.

I am (just ask my wife).

But seriously, it’s not like all the music I listen to came out in the 80s (or before then…), it’s just that shortly after high school I started listening to a wider variety of music, but I also found fewer albums that I really enjoyed all the way through. I think there may have also been a drift away from the idea of albums sometime in there, and more towards singles, such that it became easier to care passionately about a song but not a band. Fortunately there were still a few bands creating great records all the way through, and I still listen to them today.

Stone Temple Pilots – Core: If I had to pick one phrase to describe this album, I’m afraid it would have to be “bad timing”. Caught right in the middle of the grunge explosion, squarely between Nirvana’s Nevermind and In Utero on the one hand and Pearl Jam’s Ten and Vs. on the other, and releasing basically the same day as Alice in Chains’ Dirt, being seen as anything other than a “me too” would be damn near impossible for anyone. Which is too bad, because if any album could stand tall among these giants, this would be it. For my money this album is every bit as good as Nevermind and Ten (although it’s well known among my friends that I’ve never been a huge Nirvana or Pearl Jam fan, I still acknowledge those are amazing albums), and it comes pretty close to Dirt (“Would” and “Rooster” alone are enough to put Dirt over the top in that contest). If you’re a grunge fan who somehow missed this one, pick it up, and if you never got into the grunge scene, this is a great place to start. Best tracks are “Sex Type Thing”, “Wicked Garden”, “Creep”, “Plush”, and “Where the River Goes”.

Garbage – Garbage: On a slightly different note, there’s the self-titled debut release from Garbage. Shirley Manson captivated me immediately with her dark, smoky vocals, and the heavy, almost goth/grunge sound of the music hit the sweet spot for me. There also seemed to be a certain tongue-in-cheek humor to it, as the first single I remember hearing off the album was “Only Happy When It Rains”, which has a healthy dose of self-mockery that was sorely lacking in the goth scene I found myself escaping at the time. While the album tends toward an alt-rock/grunge sound, the instrumentals are a bit too clean and sharp to really fit neatly into the grunge category, and the vocals manage to soar past most of what I generally think of as grunge (although whether that’s because of Manson’s skill or just because I haven’t heard any hardcore female grunge bands is hard to say). All around a great album, and in addition to “Only Happy When It Rains” I would suggest checking out “As Heaven Is Wide”, “Stupid Girl”, and “Milk”.

Blues Traveler – four: And now for something completely different… It’s a little known fact, but I absolutely love good harmonica playing. I don’t know why, but I’m a total sucker for good harmonica, especially when it’s blues or rock style. Small wonder then that I should get sucked in by the likes of John Popper, harmonica virtuoso, fronting up a band called Blues Traveler. What I particularly liked about this album was that they managed to range over a wide area both thematically and musically, being everywhere from up tempo to down tempo and inspiring to… well, to be perfectly honest there’s some out and out depressing moments in this album, as well. But taken as a whole it feels like life. This is a serious and mature album from a band that has had time to get a sense of who they are and what they can achieve, and they bring a great sound together with brilliant lyrics. My favorite tracks include “Run-Around”, “The Mountains Win Again”, “Crash & Burn”, “Price to Pay”, “Hook”, “Just Wait”, and “Brother John”.

Adrian Belew – Young Lions: While it seems like the odd duck out in my collection of music in many ways, this album always puts a smile on my face. Adrian Belew first came to my attention with his hit single “Oh Daddy” off his album Mr. Music Head, and although I was never a big fan of that one, I latched onto this album immediately. Something about the title track just grabbed me, and even to this fay every time I hear it I am inspired with wild ideas of artistic works I will never complete, but at least it gets me started. There’s a few more experimental tracks on this album that also inspire me to just let loose and go with whatever crazy new artistic venture I’ve been holding back on, although I usually abandon them by the time the album is over. The rest of the tracks are more standard pop-like fare, which is not a bad thing, because they’re all executed exceptionally well, with guest appearances on a couple of tracks by David Bowie. “Young Lions” is not to be missed, “Pretty Pink Rose” is great for Bowie fans, “I Am What I Am” is just a trip, and “Men in Helicopters” is another good all-around song.

 

Other posts you might like:

The Soundtrack of My Life: Dharma Days

The Soundtrack of My Life: Parental Advisory

The Soundtrack of My Life: Punk Rock Nation

It’s Just a Fantasy

Posted: April 17, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Culture | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

I’ve had a little free time lately, so I decided to check out some books on my Kindle Fire (yes, that’s a shameless plug, but I do love it so very much). I’ve been a fan of fantasy ever since I was a kid, and in the last ten years or so I’ve become a huge fan of the sub-genre of modern fantasy. Most of it actually seems to be a spin-off of trashy romance novels, but I can’t honestly say that’s a bad thing (I have been known to enjoy some trash in my day as well). My most recent forays have been somewhat hit-or-miss, but there have been a couple of gems that I stumbled across, as well as a couple near-misses that if you have a higher tolerance than I do you will probably enjoy.

Chance in Hell and Texas Hold ‘Em (The Chance Lee Series, by Patrick Kampman) – I first picked up Chance in Hell through the Kindle Owners’ Lending Library. I figured for free how could I go wrong? Turns out I managed to go so very, very right on this one. It’s a witty, fun, breezy ride through a modern interpretation of vampires, werewolves, witches, and other things that go bump in the night, with an unusual twist for modern fantasy/horror: the protagonist is a vampire-hunter. Well, ex-hunter, anyway. Which is a good thing, since one of his love interests in the series is a vampire. And the other is a werewolf. Makes that just a touch awkward. The first book is actually light on the romance, which I appreciate, and heavy on the action, which I appreciate even more. The action is fast-paced without being frenetic, the plot is well-developed and interesting (it revolves around Chance trying to dispose of an urn with… less than ideal results throughout), and the characters are all very well developed. There are no stock characters; everyone feels very real and fun, even the bad guys. While I could have stood to see a little more heft to it, I’m not sure the plot could have sustained it, so I think the author ended it in the right place, leaving enough hooks lying around for the second book to roll right in and keep going, which feels like a natural extension of the first. The characters in this one are even more fun, the plot is even more intricate, and I feel like Mr. Kampman is just starting to hit his stride with this volume, which made it well worth buying for me. There’s clearly going to be a book three, and I can’t wait for it. All that having been said, I don’t know that it’s worth the purchase price for the paperback version of either book. It’s easy for me to recommend either one at the Kindle price of $2.99, but with the physical copy of either one coming in at three times that, you may want to save your money for something else unless you’re really into guys who date monsters.

Death’s Hand (The Descent Series, by S. M. Reine) – This is another book I got through the Kindle Owners’ Lending Library (yes, I’m cheap. Sue me.) This is one of those near-miss books for me. It’s the story of a young woman who is a retired exorcist, but not the kind you’re thinking of. This kind involves a lot more ass kicking. Like, a lot more. The storyline is actually quite good, and the world is fully developed. In fact, and I never thought I would say this outside of a Tolkien novel, it’s too developed. I never found myself feeling anything at all for the protagonist outside of a vague contempt, and a lot of the details seemed superfluous in many cases. The saving grace was the supporting cast, most of whom got a lot less attention than I would have liked. It also seemed to me that Ms. Reine was setting herself up to make a very bold choice at the end, but instead she went in a different direction which was far less fulfilling for me. While the rest of the series may play out in such a way as to justify that choice, I won’t be finding out, because I just don’t have the patience to invest in another book. While I don’t exactly regret having read this one, I can’t see myself pursuing another. If you have more of an appetite for exquisite detail than I do (and she really does have a deft way with words), there’s a lot to love here. It just wasn’t my cup of tea.

Kindle Only Books

I don’t know if these books/stories are available in other formats, but I was only able to find them on the Amazon Kindle store. Be warned.

Faculty of Fire (by Alex Kosh) – I really have no idea what to say about this one. Should I lead with the great story or the bad editing? The wonderful characters or the horrible grammar? The amazing world-building or the atrocious spelling errors? There’s so much that’s right about this book, and yet so much that’s wrong. It comes so close to being one of the best high fantasy books I’ve read in a long time, but it suffers from a bad case of young teenage boy wish-fulfillment. I suppose the best thing I can say is I’ll be buying the next book in the series when it comes out, warts and all. Just know what you’re getting into, and if the downsides are going to be too big of a turnoff then don’t bother.

Last Chance Jack – A Fantasy Short Story (by Cate Dean) – I’m not usually a fan of short stories; they so often seem to rush straight to the conclusion, or just leave out important little things like character development, details, plot, or any reason for existing. Ms. Dean manages in this story to avoid all of those pitfalls, crafting a deft narrative that is sweet, captivating, and intelligent. A surprising “fallen guardian angel” story, Last Chance Jack is a quick read, but has a compelling plot, strong characters, and doesn’t take the easy out I was expecting (although there is a solid payoff at the end). For less than $1 I highly recommend it.

Ice and Fire (by Christopher Bunn) – Another short story that I found surprisingly charming, particularly because it’s a fairy tale. Mr. Bunn manages to perfectly capture the innocent and sweet nature of modern fairy tales (not the old style, original Grimm’s Fairy Tales) in a delightful story of a princess and her childhood friend, the King who wanted more than he could have, and the deal that almost doomed them all. This is one for folks who want a taste of that childhood innocence back, and again, at less than a dollar it’s a steal.

Yes, It’s More of My Favorite Movies (That You’ve Never Seen)!

Posted: April 12, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Culture | Tags: , , , , | 3 Comments

I’m starting to think I have a habit. I blame it on my Dad. From the time I was a little kid, we always had the latest in television technology. Cable? You bet. VCR? Beta AND VHS, at the same time, usually more than one of each. Laserdisc? Okay, let’s not go crazy here. We weren’t rich, the man just liked his TV. But he did get on the DVD bandwagon early, and he got a Blu-Ray player pretty fast too. He even had digital cable AND a satellite dish at the same time at one point.

What I’m trying to say is I had a lot of exposure at an impressionable age to a lot of movies. I don’t know why I never picked up Dad’s fascination with John Wayne films, but I do seem to have picked up his love of cinema somewhere along the line, and I’m going to keep sharing it with you. At least the obscure bits.

Flash Gordon (1980) – I can’t even begin to describe how amazing this film is. It’s astounding, it’s mind-boggling, it’s a tour-de-force of awful. This is one of the worst sci-fi films I have ever seen, and that’s saying a lot. The plot is so far beyond insipid, it actually transcends its origins in the funny pages by making Flash Gordon the quarterback for the New York Jets (I am not making this up). He and reporter Dale Arden are kidnapped by a mad scientist in his homemade rocket during an apocalypse being caused by Ming the Merciless (still not making this up) in an attempt to save Earth. The plot actually manages to go downhill from there, and to top it all off the entire movie has a soundtrack done by Queen (and what is it with me and movies with soundtracks by Queen?). Despite all of this, or maybe because of it, I simply have to watch this movie every chance I get. It’s the kind of thing that is so unintentionally hilarious I just can’t get enough.

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978) – What do you get when you take the music of the Beatles as sung by the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton, add in an all-star cast (for the time) including George Burns, Steve Martin, and Alice Cooper, and add a special cameo appearance of Aerosmith doing possibly the most well-known cover of all time? That’s right, you get the movie that made my wife seriously consider leaving me (no I am not kidding, she has yet to forgive me for this, and it’s been several years since she watched half of it). This is the kind of movie that you will either love or hate, and unless you like your movies served with a very large slice of cheese, chances are you will hate it (particularly if you’re a Beatles fan). I’ve been watching it since I was old enough to operate the VCR, so for me it has nostalgia value going for it if nothing else, and I happen to like the music (and cheesy movies). If you’ve got a strong stomach and are willing to take a risk, you might just find a new favorite too. Or maybe you’ll leave me, but I’m willing to take that chance.

Clue (1985) – Long before the recent trend in creating movies out of board games became the hot thing, this movie set the bar, and it set the bar high. Rather than bothering with anything like a real mystery plot, it’s a screwball comedy of murder and mayhem, with bodies dropping left and right and great, quotable one-liners going off just as fast. Martin Mull puts in a solid performance as Colonel Mustard, Lesley Ann Warren is fantastic as Miss Scarlet, and Madeline Kahn is at the top of her game as Mrs. White. In addition to everything else it has going for it, this movie has the greatest performance ever by Tim Curry. Yes, I’ve seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I’ve seen it in the theater… over 1,000 times. I stand by my statement. The multiple endings are handled perfectly, and add just the right feel to the movie for the game tie-in.

Yellowbeard (1983) – A piratical satire starring… well, just about everybody who was in comedy in the early Eighties, Yellowbeard is basically what you might expect. The British Navy gets the vilest pirate in the world to escape from prison in order to follow him to his treasure and hilarity ensues. I won’t bother explaining the rest of the plot because really there’s not much point. The whole thing is basically a vehicle for jokes and gags, which suits me just fine. The cast includes Monty Python alumni Graham Chapman, Eric Idle, and John Cleese, as well as Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong, and Madeline Kahn. Once again Madeline Kahn is fantastic in this film, and I’m always a fan of all the Pythons. I’m not always as big a fan of Cheech and Chong, but they do a fantastic job of sending up Spanish Conquistadors. It’s very slapstick, very screwball, and a lot of fun.

 
For more movie suggestions, why not check out these posts:

More of My Favorite Movies (That You’ve Never Seen)

Even More of My Favorite Movies (That You’ve Never Seen)

Still More of My Favorite Movies (That You’ve Never Seen)

Special Bonus Post: Don’t Just Say It, Live It

Posted: April 10, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Culture, Musings, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Just recently, I wrote about how to address a customer service situation from the customer’s perspective. As luck would have it, I ran into just such a situation these past few days, and I wanted to share it with you all.

I bought a new custom build computer from Microcenter in Fairfax, VA, and there were issues with my order. I won’t go into the gritty details, because this is actually meant to be a positive story. First, let me say that I discovered just how hard it is to follow my own advice. I was angry. I might even go so far as to say livid. So polite and patient were hard come by. I have to give complete respect to almost everyone I dealt with (one technician was a little surly on the phone, but then I was a little surly as well; you get what you give). When I finally went in to pick up my computer, everyone was very polite, and I definitely appreciate that. I did manage to keep my cool, and followed my own rules.

The manager I spoke with, Abdul, was very accommodating, very patient, and very helpful. He listened to my story, he apologized for the inconvenience, and he made things right for me. Let me point out I was very close to never shopping there again after having not one but two computers in a row built there, and he salvaged everything. That’s the power of good customer service right there.

Let me also say this: my old system is going to my wife. I’ve had it for seven years and it still works great. The only reason I’m giving it up is because she needs a new computer. I look forward to my new one. If you need a new computer, or just want new components or anything else and are in the Northern VA area, I suggest you check them out.

Yeah, that’s right. I’m telling everyone I know. Because that’s how happy I am. That’s the power of good customer service, too.

The Soundtrack of My Life: LOL Albums

Posted: April 10, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Culture, Humor, Soundtrack of My Life | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

Music can be a lot of things: socially relevant, brain candy, the voice of a generation, or just an excuse to sit back and chill. One of the rarest things to find in music is humor. There’s an old saying that dates all the way back to vaudeville days: “dying is easy; comedy is hard.” I’ve made no secret of my love for good comedy, and there’s a handful of artists who have raised it beyond mere shtick to an art form (although in at least one case I’m sure there are those who would disagree with me).

“Weird” Al Yankovic – In 3-D: Let’s just deal with the elephant in the room first, shall we? My Not So Humble Sister hates “Weird” Al for much the same reason I hate Madonna: being exposed ad nauseum at a tender age. That and she just doesn’t get his humor. Admittedly he is best known for his satire, which compared to many satirists is surprisingly gentle (although I really don’t get his obsession with food), but for me some of his best work is his original songs. This was the first “Weird” Al album I ever owned, owing to the smash success of “Eat It”, and I listened to it constantly. I even auditioned for a high school musical with the song “Nature Trail to Hell” one year (yes, I got the part, no I don’t know why). “Weird” Al manages to be sharp, funny, and light without ever being vulgar, a fact which likely was a contributing factor to Michael Jackson giving him permission to use the same set from “Bad” for his parody “Fat” from a later album (and again with the eating obsession). While he’s not everyone’s cup of tea (sorry, couldn’t resist a food joke of my own), I still think this is arguably his best work. Be sure to check out “Midnight Star”, “Polkas on 45”, “King of Suede”, and of course “Nature Trail to Hell”.

They Might Be Giants – Flood: If you prefer your humor a little more highbrow (and perhaps a bit incomprehensible), I suggest They Might Be Giants. I’ll be the first to admit that it took me a while to warm up to this band. Yes, I was that guy. It seemed like every TMBG album I heard I had to listen to at least three times before I liked it or even got the joke. When it finally clicked for me, I couldn’t get enough. There’s a certain je ne sais quoi about their music that can’t really be defined. Some of it is clearly brilliant satire (“Particle Man” in particular) while other songs are either so deep they’re funny or so funny they’re deep (“Dead”). They even manage to get some social relevance into the mix with songs like “Your Racist Friend” and “Minimum Wage” while still maintaining a charming and offbeat style that I can’t define and absolutely love. In addition to the songs I already mentioned, I highly recommend the famous “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)”, “Women and Men”, and “Road Movie to Berlin”.

King Missile – The Way to Salvation: If They Might Be Giants isn’t incomprehensible enough for you, may I suggest King Missile? Where TMBG flirts with surrealism, King Missile seduces it, takes it to bed and calls it a dirty girl. To me, The Way to Salvation is to rock and roll what Andy Warhol was to art. Different? Sure. Strange? Arguably. Self-referential? On occasion. But undeniably brilliant. This album takes all kinds of tropes and inverts them back on themselves, playing with content, form and medium to create a sonic interpretation that ranges over a wide field of intellectual work. The end result is a mish-mash of different styles that somehow forms a novel, coherent album stronger than any one song would suggest. I’m particularly fond of the way they deliberately separated the two parts of “The Boy Who Ate Lasagna and Could Jump Over a Church”, creating a bifurcated narrative that is stronger thereby. Some of my other favorite tracks are “The Story of Willy”, “I Wish”, “The Indians”, “Sex With You”, and “Scotland”.

Tom Lehrer – That Was the Year That Was: Moving away from surrealism and squarely into the realm of “thinking man’s humor”, there’s Tom Lehrer. Lehrer has taught political science at MIT and mathematics at the University of California. Despite that, he’s actually a fair hand at the piano. While That Was the Year That Was as recorded live in 1965 and addressed news items of the day, the songs are still in many cases  (sadly) relevant. He may be best known for his satirical “The Elements”, wherein he recites the elemental table to the tune of the “Major-General’s Song” from The Pirates of Penzance but, much like “Weird” Al after him, I much prefer his original work. While some of the songs are a bit dated, with a bit of imagination their key themes can be seen reflected in modern events, and others are still issues that are with us today. My personal favorites are “The Folk Song Army” (themes of which I can see reflected in the Occupy movement today), “Smut” (SOPA/CISPA and other attempts at regulating free speech), “Who’s Next?” (North Korea, Iran, and other countries that are actually name-checked in this song about nuclear proliferation), and “National Brotherhood Week” (a song about racism, religious intolerance, and other forms of social intolerance).

Fashion Advice For the Professional Gentleman

Posted: April 8, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: Culture | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

While I’m not the fashion horse my father was (I don’t think even Prince is the fashion horse my father was), and I’m privileged now to work in an environment where I don’t need to be, I have been working in and around a lot of companies over the years, and in that time I’ve developed a fairly good sense of what professional attire should be. Sad to say, what I have been noticing over the past twenty years is a distinct decline not in what is considered professional attire (sorry, can’t blame it on Casual Friday), but rather in the knowledge and understanding among so-called professionals of what is professional attire.

With that in mind, I’d like to offer the following modest suggestions to men both young and old about what they might want to consider for their professional wardrobe.

First, own at least two suits. By this I mean actual suits, not a pair of slacks and a blazer or sport coat. The kind of suit that you buy as a complete set, coat and jacket (vests are optional and not particularly necessary). Not that there’s anything wrong with a pair of slacks and a sports coat, and in fact I do believe you should own at least a few pairs of slacks and a couple of sports coats that you can mix and match between them as well, but there’s just something about a suit that makes a comprehensive statement you just don’t get any other way.

Also, I’m not speaking about a hand-me-down suit or a suit you purchased at Discount Suit Warehouse. I mean a high quality suit, the kind that comes from a high end retailer or specialty shop. Save up your nickels and dimes and get them on sale if you can, because these kinds of suits are not cheap (trust me, I know this). Many retailers will have sales once or twice a year, and they will offer good discounts on the outgoing styles. Why do you care that they’re last season’s (or even last year’s) fashions? Ideally you will have these suits for years anyway.

While you’re there, make sure to get the suit tailored to you so it fits properly (if you have a favorite tailor elsewhere you can go there, but I have yet to find one who does the job better for less). Don’t let them bully you into wearing the suit the way they say it “should” be worn. I wear the waist of my pants much lower than any tailor seems to think is “right”, and for years my pants didn’t fit right. Then I finally insisted they simply let me wear the pants the same way while them hemmed them as I did when I got them home, and suddenly my pants fit well. Did they look as good as they could? No, but they looked better than they did, because they were tailored for me.

Pick up a lint brush, preferably two. Keep one in your desk drawer at work and one close to the door at home. Use them. Even if you don’t have long hair or a pet, someone else does; your wife, your husband, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your roommate, the person in the elevator next to you with the five corgis. Hair, lint, and all kinds of other stuff transfers very easily, and you won’t notice you need a lint brush until you don’t have one; if nothing else, you can be the hero of the day for someone else. If you don’t have one handy when you need it you can fake it by rolling some tape (sticky side out) around your hand and running it gently over your suit. It’s not great, but it’s better than nothing, and people will appreciate that you took a little time for your appearance.

Second, I’ve heard more than one person say that if you want to get attention at work you should dress  better than your position (or better than the other people at your level). This fascinates me, since I’ve always found that the best way to get attention at work is to be good at your job. Dressing “for the job you want to have” as they say is a good way to annoy the people around you, as it does make you stand out, but not in a good way. If you are good at your job and you’re not getting attention for it, you need to find another job.

What I do recommend is dressing better, worse, or just the same as the people around you, if that’s who you are. What people will respond to is confidence: are you comfortable in your own skin? Are you showing up as the person you believe you are, or are you putting on a show? That’s not to say you should dress inappropriately for the work environment, and if you are completely uncomfortable wearing anything acceptable in that workplace, then again maybe you need to think about getting a different job.

Third, make sure you own at least two nice pairs of shoes. Note that there is a difference between “nice” shoes and “dress” shoes. Any kind of shoes can be nice, and even “dress” shoes can be cheap. Don’t buy cheap dress shoes. As I mentioned earlier, every major retailer has sales, and there’s nothing wrong with them. Make sure to get quality shoes that fit comfortably, because hopefully you’ll be wearing them a lot (because you have a good job to wear them at).

Here’s the thing: if you buy cheap shoes, you will spend a lot of time and money replacing them, and you will have to break them in over and over again (which is not fun), and in the long run you will spend as much money on multiple pairs of cheap shoes as you do on one pair of quality shoes. But there’s more: people notice a man’s shoes, especially if he’s wearing a nice suit (like the one I told you to buy earlier). If you wear cheap shoes with a nice suit, people will laugh at you. Women will laugh at you. Maybe not to your face, but I have heard it. And gentlemen, they are not nice about it. Better a slightly worn pair of quality shoes than a brand new pair of cheap shoes.

Once you have your nice shoes, please be sure to take care of them. Don’t stomp through the mud in them, avoid puddles, don’t walk across the grass in them, and please be sure to polish them. Take care of your shoes, because they are quality, and people notice these things.

That’s not everything you need to know, but it should at least get you started.

 

You might also like:

On Achieving Work-Life Balance

How To Get Ahead In Business If Your Boss Is Anything Like Me

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