Life Is A Game. What Achievements Have You Unlocked?

H/T to Barnaby Felton. He posted this on Facebook a while back and it got me thinking. If life were a game, what achievements would it have? Even better, what achievements SHOULD it have? And which ones would I have unlocked by now? Which ones would I be looking forward to?

Below is my list of achievements, first the ones I’ve already earned and then the ones I’m still working on (or never intend to get, but just love the idea of). They’re not always things I’m necessarily proud of, mind you, but sometimes survival is an achievement all its own. I encourage you to submit your own in the comments, but please do your best to follow form. Give it a title and a description, and where possible be creative.

Unlocked Achievements

Level 20 – Turn 20 years old

Level 30 – Turn 30 years old

Man’s Best Friend – Own (or be owned by) a dog

Cat’s Cradle – Own (or be owned by) a cat

Full of Pride – Own (or be owned by) more than one cat at once

Yakety Yak – Do chores for your parents

Let’s Do the Time Warp Again – See the Rocky Horror Picture Show in the theater at least twice

Up the Creek – Go camping

Drinks Are On Me – Turn the legal drinking age in your country or state

Fade to Black – Drink so much that you pass out

You Can’t Handle the Truth! – Get caught in a blatant lie

And the Oscar Goes To… – Make a scene in public

Wage Slave – get a job

Tithing to Uncle Sam – Pay income taxes

Hate the Playa – Badmouth an ex

Hate the Game – Swear off dating for at least six months

I Put a Ring On It – Get married

Hey Mo(hawk)! – Have a mohawk

In the Midnight Hour, She Cried Mo(hawk), Mo(hawk), Mo(hawk) – Have more than one color of

mohawk at some point in your life

Bob Dobbs – Be accused of being a slacker

Part of the System – Vote in a government election

I Demand a Recount! – Have your candidate lose in a government election

Y’ain’t From Round Here, Are Ya? – Move at least 500 miles for work or school

Under The Bridge – Deliberately troll someone online

Achievements I’m Still Working On

Level 40 – Turn 40 years old

Level 50 – Turn 50 years old

Level 60 – Turn 60 years old

Level 70 – Turn 70 years old

Level 80 – Turn 80 years old

Level 90 – Turn 90 years old

Level 100 – Turn 100 years old

Older Than the Hills – Turn 101 years old

Leader of the Pack – Own (or be owned by) more than one dog at once

I Got Music, I Got Rhythm – Learn to play a musical instrument

Rob the Cradle – Date someone at least ten years younger than you are

Rob the Grave – Date someone at least ten years older than you are

Romero – Be personally responsible for a worldwide zombie apocalypse

Resource Hog – Have a child

Breeding an Army – Have more than two children

Jailbait – Spend the night in jail (including the drunk tank)

Macgyver – Improvise a mechanical devise to get yourself out of a jam, preferably one involving

terrorists

Gilligan – Join the Navy or Coast Guard

The Skipper – Have command of a boat (civilian or armed forces)

The Millionaire and His Wife – Marry into money

The Movie Star – Get a lead role in a motion picture

The Professor and Marry Ann – Create an item out of common objects that completely defies the laws

of science using only the help of your lab assistant, a simple farm girl from Kansas

Script Kiddie – Hack a computer system

Haxx0r – Hack a computer system using your own code

Neo – Hack a government computer system using your own code

White Hat, Black Hat, They All Look Good On Me – Work computer security before or after hacking a

computer system

I’m With the (Rubber) Band – Go bungee jumping

Lunatic – Jump out of a perfectly serviceable airplane in mid-flight (parachute optional)