Bonsall’s Laws

The following are a list of observations defining life.  Some are personal observations, while others are taken from outside sources.  Thus, you might recognize some.  Just because I didn’t notice it first doesn’t make it any less true.

1. Hope was in Pandora’s box for a reason.
2. No matter how good you think you are, there’s always someone faster, smarter, stronger and better.  Moral: Don’t get cocky.
3. Lest thou tempt the Fates, keep thy big mouth shut.
4. It’s good to want things.  It strengthens the soul.
5. Anything is possible.  Probable is another matter entirely.
6. Always expect the worst.  You’ll either be prepared or pleasantly surprised.
7. There is no justice in the universe.  The best you can hope for is revenge.
8. A bad habit, once acquired, can never be lost, only replaced.
9. Bitterness is the wellspring of creativity.
10. It is morally wrong to let a fool keep his money.
11. And it harm none, cover thy own ass shall be the whole of the law.
12. Always start your day with a smile.  Get it over with.
13. If you never tried, you never failed.
14. Be sure what you ask for is what you really want; you just might get it.
15. There’s something to be said for ambiguity.
16. The ease with which a man says “I love you” is inversely proportional to how much he means it.
17. Violence is never the answer.  it does, however, give you time to think about the answer.
18. Polite conversation is anything but.
19. Always have a good publicist, but never believe your own hype.
20. A person’s guilt in any given situation is inversely proportional to the speed with which they deny it.
21. Platitudes to the contrary not withstanding, even a coward dies but once.
22. If you can’t stop in time, smile as you go under.
23. When in doubt, lie.  If you get caught, apologize.  Never admit to doing it.
24. It is better to look good than to feel good, and it is far better to feel good than to be good.
25. Every man has his good reasons.