Dating Advice from ScientistsPosted: July 3, 2013 Filed under: Humor | Tags: advice, comedy, dating, humor, men, science, scientists, women 15 Comments
Dear Madame Curie,
I desperately need the advice of a strong woman like you. I have a major crush on this guy at school, and I really want to tell him, but none of my friends like him. I’m also kind of a nerd, and he’s a football player, so I doubt he’d even be interested. Not to mention he probably doesn’t even know I exist. But I really do think he’s great. What should I do?
Unclear in Love
Dear Radiant Love,
Here’s the thing: I can see right through all of your excuses. You’re scared, and that’s understandable. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if things don’t work out? What if your parents forbid you to see him? What if, what if, what if…? But you need to take risks for the things you want in this world. Is there a chance you could get hurt? Of course there is, but nothing worthwhile comes without a price. If you truly wish to achieve success in life, regardless of your pursuit, you must commit yourself completely. Only then will you attain the prize you seek.
Dear Dr. Heisenberg,
I have been dating the same girl for a couple months now, and I thought everything was going just fine. Then the other week she started talking marriage. It seemed totally out of the blue to me, but she acted like it was the most natural thing in the world! It’s not that I’m totally against the idea of getting married, but I’m not sure we’re ready for that conversation yet, you know? Which one of us is right?
Uncertainly In Love
Dear Entangled Pair,
I understand your uncertainty, but you need to stand by your principles. You need to figure out where you are in this relationship before you decide how fast you want to move forward with it. While it may feel as if your partner is exerting an irresistible force on you, you need to remain positive and understand that you are not merely a neutral observer in this. You have to take charge and decide for yourself what you want, and then communicate that effectively. The release in tension you feel will be massive.
Dear Mr. Einstein sir,
My name is Jenny and I have a problem and I hope you can help me. I was going stedy with a boy at skool and I thout everything was fine and I really liked him and I thought he really liked me and then one day he really didn’t like me anymore and now Im very sad and I don’t know what to do.
Ach, the ways of love are more mysterious than the ways of the cosmos. It is easier to understand the structure of the universe than the structure of a man’s heart. Sadly, it has been my experience that emotions, much like matter and energy, can never truly be destroyed; they can only be changed from one to another. In this same way it seems as if this young man who once professed to have a deep Liebe for you has now seen it transformed in the crucible of time to its opposite. I can only offer you the solace of knowing that as strong as his passion is now so it was then, and if you can find the source of the change you may be able to turn him back if it is not too late and you are still interested in making the effort.
I’ve gotten myself into a pickle and I can’t see a way out. There’s a girl I’ve been with for a couple years, and the truth is we only started dating because nobody else would have either one of us. At the time I was kind of chunky, and she’s… well, she’s kind of plain on a good day. She’s a good friend, and we enjoy a lot of the same things, but there’s no real spark. This summer I started working out a lot and I finally got into shape. I also started getting some real attention from other girls, including a girl I’ve had my eye on for a long time. Would it be wrong of me to break it off with the girl I’m dating to pursue the girl I really want? Does that make me shallow that I’m that concerned about the way she looks?
Dear Muscular Mind,
I would theorize you have found yourself in a love triangle… without the love. It is a shame you do not feel eros for the lady you have, and the theia mania has been granted to you for one you have not, but the gods make fools of us all. Still, if philia is not enough to sustain you, and I have never seen it to be such in any man (and certainly not in a young man), it would be an unkindness bordering on cruelty to continue your current relationship regardless of whether your eye strays or if there are others who suddenly find you appealing. But before you sever the ties you have, consider carefully the value of what you are giving up. As you have changed, so may she; and what you once were you may be again. The alchemy of fitness may have worked wonders on a maiden’s eye, but it will do little to sway her heart, and you may find yourself twice alone and twice bereft before you know it.
A highly creative piece of writing!
Thank you very much!
Ha! Pythagoras is my favorite, and I can’t decide if I find the dater’s letters more funny or the responses from the scientists. Well done!
Hi Bob! I found you on Truth and Cake and am very happy that I did. This post was great – so entertaining! I see you’ve also done “Dating Advice from Philosophers” and I hope you’ll continue the series
PS: Can I tell you how much I love the title of your “About” page? 😀
Thank you, and I’m so glad you came! I’ll keep doing more of the series as new ideas strike me; they usually come along at the rate of about one every few months. Hope you enjoy the rest of the blog!
Heisenberg’s response was the best! Creative, intelligent humour is the best kind!
Hilarious! Pythagoras WOULD spot a love triangle, wouldn’t he?
This is great lol!!! My nerdy brain and heart were tickled.
So glad to hear it. The nerdy heart is the greatest treasure of all.
So creative and funny! Well done, Bob!
Thank you very much!
Who said science and romance were non-compatible? 😉
Thanks for sharing.
[…] often get so outnumbered on Truth and Cake, I have to give a shout out to Bob Bonsall’s post Dating Advice from Scientists. It’s très clever. Check it out!). Without further ado, three courageous, creative […]
Well done, so creative, fresh and well, insightful! Thanks for this!