H.P. Lovecraft Christmas Gift GuidePosted: December 7, 2022 Filed under: Culture, Humor | Tags: Christmas, comedy, Cthulhu, culture, humor, Lovecraft Leave a comment
R’Lyeh Water Clock
This unique time piece will be the talk of any collection. Tells time in seven dimensions. Water resistant to 11,000 meters.
The King in Yellow (Children’s Edition)
Kids driving you crazy this holiday season? Return the favor with the kid’s edition of this classic tale! For maximum enjoyment, have the kids stage a performance for the whole family. It’ll be a holiday nobody will forget.
The Colour Wheel Out of Space
Know an artist who wants to REALLY express themselves, but just isn’t able to find that unique shade? Tired of hearing about the difference between “French blue” and “sapphire blue”? Wish they’d take up residence on a farm and enjoy the simple life? This out-of-this-world gift will change their life… guaranteed.
Miskatonic University Sweatshirt
Show your Miskatonic U pride with this extra-comfy sweatshirt! Made from 100% cotton, these durable, flame-retardant sweatshirts are cruelty-free, fair-trade, and available with or without extra-long sleeves with buckles. Available in men’s and women’s S, M, L, or XL.
Nothing says lovin’ like flu’gh fla’gh f’naghn! Get the family pet that nobody can resist. Comes in litters of one or a thousand.
Mi-go Chia Pet
Just spread the seeds, water, and watch it grow into something you’ve never seen before. If you nurture this plant carefully, you’re sure to go far. Suggested to keep out of direct sunlight and away from Him Who is not to be Named.
Innsmouth Saltwater Taffy
A special favorite of our staff, this sea-side treat will delight the whole family. With several flavors in every box, including lemon, cherry, grape, and calamari. *
*DISCLAIMER: Innsmouth, Inc. Saltwater Taffy has been known to cause certain adverse reactions in some individuals, including but not limited to:
- Shrunken/nonexistent ears
- Glassy, bulging, unblinking eyes
- Narrow, hairless head
- Sharpened teeth
- Rubbery, blue-gray skin
- Clawed hands and feet
- Webbing between fingers
Innsmouth, Inc. does not accept any responsibility for any adverse effects from consumption of its Saltwater Taffy, but in the event of these or other odd symptoms, suggests immediately proceding to the nearest ocean.