Deck the Malls
Posted: November 20, 2014 Filed under: Culture, Humor, Satire | Tags: America, Black Friday, Christmas, comedy, commercialism, culture, Fa-la-la-la-la, humor, shopping, society, Thanksgiving 4 CommentsIn the past I’ve railed against the Christmas excess, particularly the consumeristic aspects of it, starting well before Thanksgiving (and even before my beloved Halloween). Seeing as how this year some stores (all of them) are opening on Thanksgiving for their “Black Friday” sales, I’m giving up.
That’s right; I’m throwing in the towel. You win. I even wrote a little song for you heartless bastards, just to show I care. Enjoy.
Stores are open, let’s get hopping.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Screw the family, let’s go shopping.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Out into the hurly burly,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Black Friday is starting early!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la-la
Save the turkey and the stuffing.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Human contact we’re rebuffing.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
We’ll be loyal Christmas elves
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
All those gifts won’t buy themselves!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la-la
Fast away Thanksgiving passes.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Lines move like frozen molasses.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Looking for that coat of leather
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Instead of being all together.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
. And be sure to leave a review with your not so humble opinion!
My Not So Humble Opinion 
You’ve won me over. I’m not buying any Christmas gifts this year, and I’ll be lavishing you with love on Thanksgiving, family style. Mom
Now let’s not go TOO far. I did give you a Christmas list, after all.
I like to celebrate peacefully and quietly not all the hoopla. I won’t be shopping Black Friday.
Glad to hear it! I personally plan to spend Black Friday cleaning out my closets of all the things I haven’t worn since last Black Friday. Sort of anti-shopping.