Pork It Up

(To the tune of “Tik Tok” by Kesha)

Wake up in the morning feeling like Maynard-Keynes,

I’m out the door, I got my glasses, I’m gonna make some Gs.

Before I leave stuff my pockets with plenty of Bens,

‘Cause in this city that’s the only way to make you some friends.

I’m calling Senators on the Hill, Hill,

Marking up a big bill, bill,

Trying to get my fill, fill.

Drop-dropping donations everywhere, where

Gotta use lots of care, care-

FEC’s starting to stare…

Don’t stop, pork it up, chairman blow my budget up,

Tonight I’mma fight to get you to subsidize!

Tit for tat government is where the real power’s at!

Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh!

Ain’t got no values in the world, but got PAC money to spare.

They care to claim about folks back home but they’re already here.

Now the politicians line up ‘cause it’s close to an election

But we kick ‘em to the curb unless they bring home the bacon.

I’m talking everybody getting new roads, roads,

Public television shows, shows,

Plus new portable phones, phones!

Now, now we’ll spend until the money runs out,

Or the voters come and shut us down, voters come and shut us down,

Voters shut us down, voters shut us do-

Higher tariffs! Subsidies! Smaller government? Please!

That ain’t right, I’mma fight against laws for sunlight!

Don’t stop, pork it up, chairman blow my budget up!

Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh!

D’s and R’s-

You build me up, you tear me down,

You got me spinning around, yeah you got me.

You build me up, you tear me down,

You got me spinning around, yeah you got me.

D’s and R’s-

You build me up, you tear me down,

You got me spinning around, yeah you got me.

You build me up, you tear me down,

You got me spinning around, yeah you got me.

With my hands up

Put your hands up!

Put your hands up!

Put your hands up!

No the debt don’t start ‘til I walk in.

Don’t stop, pork it up, chairman blow my budget up,

Tonight I’mma fight to get you to subsidize!

Tit for tat government is where the real power’s at!

Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh!

Higher tariffs! Subsidies! Smaller government? Please!

That ain’t right, I’mma fight against laws for sunlight!

Don’t stop, pork it up, chairman blow my budget up!

Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh!