The Narcissus AwardPosted: June 6, 2014 Filed under: Humor, Internet, Satire | Tags: award, blogging, humor, internet, narcissism, Narcissus Award, satire 7 Comments
Let’s face it: I’m pretty great. No, strike that. I’m fucking amazing. And nobody knows that better than I do. I looked around for a way to reward myself for being so wonderfully me, and I just couldn’t find anything that was worthy of my magnificence, so I went out and created one (because I’m just that damn talented*). I present to you the Narcissus Award for Blogging Excellence and All Around Awesomeness.
You may be thinking, “But Bob! There are already so many blogging awards out there, and didn’t you win one already? Why create another one?” Thank you for asking. Yes, I did already win one, because that’s just how great I am. But the truth is nobody appreciates me like I do, because nobody else can. That’s why I created this award. It shows the brilliance, the perspicacity, the sheer audacious vision, and of course the humility of the recipient all in one masterful stroke.
Should you (erroneously) think you are deserving of the Narcissus Award, here are the rules:
- Nobody can give the award to you except yourself. After all, who else is wise enough to truly recognize the scope of your contributions to humanity?
- Display it prominently on your own blog. It’s not bragging, it’s simply acknowledging your greatness, which everyone else should be doing anyway.
- Be sure to link back to the blog you stole appropriated rightfully acquired it from. After all, how can others appreciate your genius without having something to compare it to?
- Be sure to copy and paste these rules along with your new award, in case someone else makes the mistake of thinking they are somehow better than you.
- Feel free to ignore any and all of these rules. After all, only you really understand you.
*It’s within the realm of possibility I may have had some design help from Navare Carter, which is completely irrelevant except to prove just how awesomely generous I am to acknowledge him in the same breath as my fantastic self. You’re welcome, Navare.
Thank you. I’ve worked very hard for this.
Congrats on your award, Bob!
Thank you. I’d like to thank all the people who made this possible: Me, Myself, and I.
I often think, as i read that which is your opinion, humble though it may not be, that the only thing that rivals your perspicaciousness, is your unflinching humbly narcissistic pedanticism. Congratulations on this award which you so richly deserve…I’ve my fingers crossed in hopes of someday simply being nominated.
The Narcissus Award is like the greatness of those who receive it: some are born to it, some achieve it, and some have it thrust upon them. Choose your path wisely.
Haha this is fun and you are worth it. Fantastic!