Coming out of hibernation 

Hi everyone. Sorry I’ve been so quiet lately. As Mark Twain once said, the rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. The truth is I’ve been in hibernation, building my strength so I can come back stronger than ever. I’m sure you’ve been taking good care of things while I’ve been gone, so let’s just take a quick look around…

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? ISIS? Donald Trump? Dengue fever? Dengue fucking fever? I swear, I leave you people alone for five minutes and- 

You know what, forget it. I’m going back to sleep. You can be sure you’ll be talking to your father when he gets home. And I want you to know, I’m not disappointed, just angry.